


I Promise You

by starvonnie



Category: Transformers: Prime
Genre: Drunkenness, Enemies to Lovers, M/M, Self servicing, constant bitching, drunk sex (sort of), what do you mean theres only one bed???
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-21
Updated: 2016-07-09
Packaged: 2018-06-09 18:08:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 28,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6917698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starvonnie/pseuds/starvonnie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Starscream's life gets turned upside down when he's forced to leave his lifelong partner for a new trine.  A far less competent trine.  Which wouldn't be so bad, if he wasn't falling for them at the same time.  And when he finds out that there's more to Skywarp than he thought, his trinemate's stats will be the least of his worries.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

 

"You've _got_ to be kidding me."  Starscream let the door slam behind him.  Somehow, that didn't wake a slumbering Skywarp.  _In his berth_.  Like he owned the damn place.

But, of course, it had to be Skywarp, of all bots.  As if his luck hadn't been bad enough already.  Who needed competence when you had a mouth that could babble on until your listener's audials exploded from overuse?  What more could he ask for in a trinemate?

Grabbing him by the ankle, Starscream yanked Skywarp out of his berth.  He landed in a mess of limbs.  One of his wings caught the cover and it fluttered down over him.  His confusion peaked as he struggled to free himself.

"What the--" Sharp claws tore through the duvet.  A Skywarp-sized hole produced a black helm, tangling himself further in the loose threads.  When he saw Starscream standing over him, a grin pushed his cheeks all the way up to his optics.  "Hey!  What's up, roomie?"  He playfully punched Starscream in the leg.

"That's my berth."  The cover had a clean split  down the middle once Starscream was done tearing it off of his trinemate.  "And my blanket."

"Then why'd you rip it?"  Skywarp stood.  He wiggled his wing a bit, looking at it in thought.  After concluding that it wasn't damaged, he gave a little nod of satisfaction.  He jutted out one hip, leaning it into his servo.  The smile on his face said that he didn't have a care in the world.  When he should have at least one.  Like, perhaps, getting better at his job? 

Starscream fumed.  Shoving the torn remnants in his face, he screeched, " _You_ ripped it!"

Skywarp shrugged.  "One hole doesn't ruin it."

Shaking, not being able to believe that someone could be this damn irresponsible, he moved to strike him.  Someone caught his wrist from behind.

"I'll replace it," Thundercracker's cool voice reassured him.  Of course.  Where Skywarp was, Thundercracker wasn't far behind.  Patience beyond measure.  He had to have it, to put up with his trinemate.

Starscream tugged his servo free.  All he was able to hit Skywarp with was a burning glare.  "Do you always clean up his messes?"

"It's a blanket."  Thundercracker climbed the ladder to the top bunk.  "It's not worth fighting over.  Especially now." 

A new, unscathed, cover landed in Starscream's arms.  Then Thundercracker reached for the torn one.

"What do you want this for?"  Starscream still handed it to him.

"It's too late to get a new one tonight.  This one will do."  He climbed the last few rungs, stretching out in his berth with a small sigh.  The duvet gaped about mid thigh, leaving his legs exposed.  His _nice_ legs, Starscream couldn't help but notice.  Long and slender, tapering out at the bottom just enough to allow for his thrusters. 

He cleared his throat when he realized he had been staring, pretending to inspect the cover he'd been given.

"TC, wait."  Skywarp stepped up onto the edge of Starscream's bunk so his helm was level with his trinemate's.  Tugging the cover from his own berth, he let a corner fall onto Thundercracker's arm.  "Use mine.  You get colder more easily."

Thundercracker rolled over, a loving smile on his face.  He cupped Skywarp's chin and left a kiss on his lips.  "I'll be fine, Skywarp.  You use it."

"We can share it," Skywarp compromised.  Hooking one knee on his own bunk, he moved to climb into Thundercracker's berth.  A silver hand gently pushed him back.

"These bunks are too small to share."

Skywarp pouted.  "But I wanna sleep next to you."

Thundercracker's slightly dimmed optics showed that he was just as disappointed to be apart.  But fatigue made him too tired to care all that much.  Already lost in the softness beneath him.

"This isn't permanent," Thundercracker reminded him.  He kissed him again, this time on the forehead.  A yawn interrupted it, pulling away to cover his mouth.  "Now get some sleep.  We have training tomorrow."

"Yes.  Lots of training."  Starscream crossed his arms and tapped his pede.  He'd never get any sleep until they settled down.

Skywarp glared out the side of his optics, then let them roll warmly back forward.  Back to his half-asleep trinemate.  He watched as Thundercracker rolled over and then slowly lowered himself down to the floor.  His optics burned almost white with hatred when they found Starscream.  "This is all your fault."

"How is any of this _my_ fault?"

Did Skywarp think he wanted this?  To be saddled with perhaps the worst seeker in all of history?

"It just is." Skywarp crawled into his berth.  Angrily, he pulled his cover over his frame.  Covering even his helm.  With his back turned, he said, "You are so not getting a good night kiss."

"Like I would want one from you."

"Listen, I give the best kisses and you are missing out."  Skywarp's mound curled into a ball, his aft hanging out over the edge.  These berths really were small.  And nowhere near as plush as the berth Starscream had grown accustom to.

He felt the future aches in his joints as he shut off the light and climbed into his own berth.  It had been so long since he had had to sleep in an academy berth.  Had they always been this uncomfortable?

His wings got the worst of it.  With no give to cradle the sensitive metal, they started to tingle.  He tried to lie on his side like his trinemates, but he just couldn't find comfort that way.  His front wasn't much better, but at least it gave his wings as much space as they needed.  He would have given anything for a wing massage right then.  Someone with wide, deft hands.  Someone who know where all of his knots were, and how to undo them.  He shivered at just the thought of something so heavenly.

Another shiver followed a few minutes later.  This one from the cold.  He only felt a little guilty as he pulled the cover right up to his neck.  He couldn't imagine Thundercracker was keeping the chill at bay.  Half of the heating coils woven into his blanket would be offline.  But he chose to take the fall for Skywarp.  He should have just let him suffer his own consequences.

Exhaustion had nearly claimed him when Starscream heard Thundercracker's chattering denta.  Well, Skywarp may be able to sleep through that.  If his snores proved anything.  But Starscream most certainly could not.  And as his trine's leader, he needed to make sure he was well rested.

Swinging his legs out of the berth, Starscream got a taste of what his trinemate was feeling.  The chill that hit his legs nearly made him crawl back into berth.  He had to deal with that noise, though.

As he climbed the berth, he "accidentally" hit Skywarp with his knee.  His trinemate made an unpleasant, almost choking-like noise, and then quieted down.  He wasn't silent, though.  Oh, no.  Skywarp could find a way to make ventilating annoying.  But at least it was something he could sleep through.

With his blanket tucked under his arm, clenching his denta together to keep them chattering like his trinemate's, he draped the cover over Thundercracker.  Climbing in beside him, he curved his frame around him.  Arms found their place wrapped around his slender waist.  To an onlooker, it might seem like he was cuddling him.  But there simply wasn't enough room for him to do anything else.  He had to admit, though.  His legs felt as nice as they looked, tangled together. 

The duvet was just large enough to accommodate the mass of their combined frames.  It helped that they were pressed snugly together, helm to pede.  Like two perfect puzzle pieces finally coming together. 

Okay, not quite _perfect_.  A draft licked at Starscream's spine.  Unable to tuck the edges under his frame, he endured it.  Their combined heat was enough to keep the frigid night at bay.  He'd have to get a new blanket for Thundercracker in the morning, but that was another day's problem.

 


	2. Chapter 2

Karma's a bitch.  That became all too clear once Starscream was the one being dragged out of berth.  Only, falling from the bottom bunk was immensely less painful than falling from the top bunk.  Less dangerous, too.  Skywarp would have dented a fender at worst, and even that hadn't happened.  From the top bunk, though, it could do some damage.  Especially to delicate seeker components.

Starscream's struts ached from the impact.  Something dug into the mesh on his back.  Something bent.  Something that had not been bent when he had gone to sleep the night before.

"Why.  The _hell_.  Were you in Thundercracker's berth?"  Skywarp stood threatening over his new trine leader.

Thundercracker was allowed the privilege of waking up more slowly.  He rolled over, yawning, the blanket slipping from his shoulder as he sat up.  "Skywarp?"  Confused, he felt the un-torn cover.  "Did you sleep without a blanket?"

"No.  But I did sleep without a partner.  Evidently, you didn't."  Skywarp grabbed Starscream by his chest armour.  Shoving him against the wall he demanded again, "Why were you in Thundercracker's berth?  Were you feeling him up while he slept you fucking creep?  'Cause he _doesn't_ want to interface with you!"

"Woah, woah, Skywarp calm down!"  Thundercracker clambered down from the bunk.  He rested a servo on Skywarp's shoulder.  "I'm sure there's a logical explanation to all of this.  Now, put him down."

Warnings all but blocked out Skywarp's face on Starscream's HUD.  He was leaking from somewhere.  He tried to feel for _where_ but he still wasn't awake.  And his low morning energon levels weren't helping.  His energon pressure had dropped to dangerous levels.  His fuel pump sputtered in vain, and the friction brought a stinging pain to his abdomen.

"Skywarp, you're going to kill him!"  Thundercracker forcibly pulled his trinemate off.  Ignoring Skywarp's offended look, he encouraged Starscream to sit.  Feeling the slickness on Starscream's back, he traced the leak to its source.  Plating on his back designed to protect now stabbed into him.  He put pressure on it, but energon still seeped out between his fingers.  Ever a rock, Thundercracker still managed to stay calm.  "Get the patch kit and some rations," he ordered Skywarp.

A huffy ventilation left Skywarp's vents, but a moment later he was at the cabinet, fetching the supplies.  He gave them to Thundercracker, but not without a scowl.

"Call a medic," he said without looking at Skywarp. 

"He just fell."  Skywarp crossed his arms.  "Stop making such a big deal out of this."

"More like someone got jealous.  _Call a medic_."

Begrudgingly, Skywarp lifted a finger to his comm.

"Can you drink this?" Thundercracker asked, his attention back on Starscream.  He held the dose right before his face, but Starscream's unfocused optics stared right through it.  Helm lolling, Thundercracker doubted he could even see _him_.  The only way they were going to get fuel into him was through an injector. 

This would have been just perfect.  They would have gotten a new start only to have killed their new trine leader-- _Starscream_ , his name practically legend.  This was not the impression Thundercracker had hoped to make.

 _Focus_.  A patch job was what Starscream needed then.  No self-loathing was going to help him. 

With one hand still pressed to the wound, Thundercracker used his other hand and his denta to pry the backing off of the bandage.  His hand was only off of the cut for a nanosecond before he slapped the patch on, somewhat staunching the flow.  He pressed his palm back down against it.  Just to be safe.

"The medic's on their way," Skywarp said.  He had a defeated look in his optics.

If Starscream could think about anything beyond bleeding out and _WARNING_ , he'd be thinking about how embarrassing this was.  His first day with his new trine, and he was on the brink of death from _falling out of berth_.  Well, being dragged out of berth.  But he also couldn't think about how furious he should be with Skywarp.  He hoped he'd remember to be after this was all over.  Skywarp deserved a good glossa-lashing.

He wanted to scream _okay!  I get it!_ at his sensors.  The red was annoying and likely only further draining his already depleted energon supply.  Just give the one warning.  Then screw off.  It's not like he was depriving himself of fuel.  It's not like he w _anted_ this to happen.

Thundercracker had helped him sit.  Was he still here?  Starscream couldn't feel anything.  Maybe he was already dead.  Somehow, he was at peace with that.  The crushing pain around his spark was nothing more than a memory.  So far away that he couldn't even remember why it had hurt in the first place.  Until it did again.

Right.  _Him_.

"Skyfire?"  Starscream murmured.  He felt a hand on his back.

"Uh, my name's Sky _warp_."  That voice brought him back.  That annoyingly high-pitched, good-for-nothing voice.

"You're going to be fine, Starscream," a new voice said.  One that he recognized but couldn't place a face to.  A medic, he soon realized.  One who had an injector stabbed into his arm as cool energon flowed into him, banishing the warnings.  The red faded and the other colours saturated in his field of vision.

"How are you feeling?" Thundercracker asked, as if he were the medic.  "Do you need another dose?"

"I'm fine," Starscream growled, now that he was aware.  He went to stand up and brush this whole situation off, but the medic held him down.

"Oh, no, you're not going anywhere.  Not until I run diagnostics.  Not to mention actually repair you.  You won't be doing anything but recovering today."

"Oh, boo."  Skywarp's face drooped in a fake pout.  "Does that mean we won't get to train today?  Darn.  I was _so_ looking forward to it."  He was really bad at hiding his true emotions.  His sarcasm gave way to a grin.

" _We_ can still train," Thundercracker said.

If Starscream had had the energy then, he would have scoffed and asked what kind of training they expected to do on their own.  They were a lost cause and everyone in the academy knew it.  Starscream was the only one in the room who actually knew how to be a seeker.  Not just to standards, either.  No, he exceeded all expectations.  Which was why it was so cruel to take him from someone just as skilled and drop him among _them_.

His wings already ached to be in the air.  He hadn't flown for a whole week with all of the moving.  And he was likely to spend tons of time on the ground while he tried to make some semblance of a seeker out of his trinemates.

"I'm surprised you did all this damage just from falling out of berth," the medic commented.

"I was dragged out."  A fiery glare was thrown at Skywarp.  "You can blame _him_ for my state."

"Maybe next time you can keep your hands off of Thundercracker!"

The mech in question covered his face, thoroughly embarrassed.  Maybe there was still hope for him, if he wasn't completely used to Skywarp's behavior.

"He was cold.  I was helping him.  I'm sorry if you were too busy sleeping to keep your conjunx warm."  While he didn't want anything to do with Thundercracker, it was fun to pretend.  If for nothing else than to watch Skywarp's face burn red with rage.  It was especially fun to egg him on with the medic in the room.  Maybe not too much, though.  He wouldn't put it past him to be an idiot with company present.

Skywarp all but snarled at him.  He looked ready to make his trinemate's injury worse, but Thundercracker quickly stood and splayed a hand over his chest.  Like a cool shower he doused Skywarp's rage.

"Stop.  You're above this.  Deep ventilations." 

Starscream was actually surprised and a little impressed when Skywarp actually listened to him.  His chest rose and fell as he calmed himself down, closing his optics and focusing on cycling his air.

"Thank you, Starscream, but it really wasn't necessary.  A little cold wasn't going to kill me."

"I know that," Starscream snapped.  "I just couldn't sleep with your denta chattering.  Don't flatter yourself."

"Just wait until you're cold," Skywarp said, his moment of calm gone.  "Then I'll get all handsy with _you_.  See how you like it."

"You can cuddle with me whenever you want to," Starscream said, voice smooth.  Truth be told, the idea _revolted_ him.  He doubted Skywarp would treat him with the care that he deserved.  He was a precision instrument of speed.  He deserved only the best.  But saying that made Skywarp's face redden for a completely different reason.  Oh, he knew how attractive he was.  His trinemate would be lucky if he even _considered_ looking his way.

While the medic worked away on Starscream, their face gave away nothing but professionalism.  But he could feel the faintest pricks of amusement on his field.

"Take a walk," Thundercracker suggested.

"I don't need a walk," Skywarp said.

"Just once around the building.  Please.  You need to sort out your feelings."  Thundercracker gave him a gentle nudge on the small of his back.  When his trinemate still refused to budge, he said, "You could get me something nicer than a basic ration from the mess hall."  He gave him a small kiss on the cheek.

Leaning into the peck, Skywarp said, "Well...  Alright.  For you."

Starscream felt an instant surge of relief once Skywarp left.  Or maybe it was the fact that the medic had finished repairing him, and the final warning on his HUD finally disappeared.  He was going to blame it on Skywarp regardless of if it was true or not.

"How do you put up with him?" Starscream asked.  He was genuinely curious.  Starscream's stress levels were through the roof and he'd barely been around him for a day.

"I love him."  It was a statement. 

"And here I thought you were the rational one."  He hadn't really intended for Thundercracker not to hear him say that, but he hadn't expected a response either.

"Love isn't rational.  It just is.  And Skywarp isn't so bad once you get to know him."

"And if you keep your hands off of his property."

"Would you mind helping me get Starscream into his berth?" the medic interrupted awkwardly.  At least he wasn't being forced into a medical berth.  They were even worse than the academy bunks.  They were worse than sleeping on the ground, but they were always being told, _they're good for your posture_.  What good was good posture if your back ached all day?

Thundercracker dutifully helped get his trine leader back on his pedes.  His delicate servos on his arm and waist.  Starscream's wings ached even more.  These were hands that knew how to massage.  But he quickly pushed that thought out of his mind.  _Don't rebound_.

Slipping sorely back into his berth, Starscream was forced to lie painfully on his side so that he wouldn't lie on his injury.  Forced to stare out at nothing but a blank wall.  This was going to be a long fucking day.

"You should be fine now, Starscream," the medic informed him.  "Just rest for today and take it easy for the next week or so.  Nothing too strenuous during training."

"Sure," he agreed.  He had no intention of following, of course.  He was Starscream.  One little wound couldn't keep him out of the sky.  And nothing, but nothing, could keep him from flying as fast as he could through that sky.  It was his everything.

"I'll be coming back to check on you," the medic warned, as if reading his mind.  "And I expect to find you in this berth, recharging, if you can."

Starscream scowled.  "Fine."  One day.  He could do it.  It was one more day without Skywarp, at least.

"Thank you," Thundercracker said.

The medic nodded, and then was gone.  Leaving new trinemates in uncomfortable silence.  And Starscream couldn't help but stare at him.  He was the only interesting thing his optics could get a hold of.  Even if they could, though, those _legs_.

"Skywarp's a little insecure," Thundercracker continued to defend him.  Magnificent legs bent at the knee as he sat in a chair, lowering himself enough so that Starscream could see his optics.  So much for having an excuse to ogle him.  "Once he's had some time to think I'm sure he'll see that what he did was wrong.  Just give him some time.  And perhaps, while you're doing that, you should do some thinking of your own."

"Look, I'm sorry I climbed into your berth but you were _shivering_.  Your chattering denta would have kept me up all night."  Starscream just noticed then how yellow his optics were.  He'd never seen such a brilliant colour before.  Maybe staring at his face wouldn't be so bad.

"Or perhaps you were just the tiniest bit lonely," Thundercracker said.  He quickly followed with, "I don't blame you.  Skywarp and I had just gotten used to our own shared berth.  How long has it been since you've been out of the common quarters?"

"I wasn't lonely!"  Dammit.  Starscream's voice cracked.  He was _not_ lonely.  Looking at anything that wasn't Thundercracker, he answered, "I've lost count.  Vorns."

"Never thought you'd be back, hm?"  Thundercracker's voice was sympathetic.

"This whole reform is bullshit!"  This hadn't been the first time he'd had this conversation, and it wouldn't be the last until it stopped being utter bullshit.  "It's _degrading_.  I've worked hard my whole life to get where I am.  I'm proven myself.  I shouldn't have to train with the likes of--"

"Me?"

"Well, Skywarp, mostly.  He's holding you back."  Starscream wanted to shake some sense into Thundercracker.  Couldn't he see?  "You could easily be a Class A seeker, but you dawdle about with him in Class C.  The class _I_ now have to fraternize with."

For having his life choices insulted, Thundercracker was quite calm.  He even had a bit of a smile.  "So, partnership?" he surmised.

Red optics squeezed shut.  _Primus_ , he missed him.  Why couldn't his spark just get over all of this nonsense?  His processor had.  He was halfway around the world and there was no happy ending for them.  Simple as that.  This was his life now.  His miserable, disappointing, downright _humiliating_ life.  He couldn't even escape this conversation.

"Yes," he finally said.

"Conjunx?" he guessed.

Sucking in a quick ventilation and avoiding his trinemate's gaze, Starscream replied, "No.  Colleague."  He forced his face into neutrality.  But it took far longer than it should.  "He was a good seeker.  Nothing more."

How Starscream wanted to smack the empathy from Thundercracker's face.  It was so patronizing.

"It's okay to miss him.  I know I would hate to be separated from Skywarp.  But I think we'll make a good trine, once we're all settled in.  Skywarp could learn a lot from you."  And then Thundercracker took his servo.  Like it was the most natural thing in the world.  Starscream should have shaken him off right away, but it felt good to hold.  He decided perhaps a bit too late that he shouldn't be doing this, no matter how good it felt, and shook him off.

"Sorry."  Thundercracker deposited it neatly in his lap, beside its mate.  "Sorry.  Force of habit.  Skywarp makes the same face when he's upset."

"Remind me to have my face replaced," Starscream said, without a hint of sarcasm.

This wasn't fair.  His partnership had been _perfect_.  Whoever had suggested that trines worked better than partnerships was at the top of his "to kill" list.  Especially when they forced them to wait, telling them that "eventually" partnerships would all be phased out.  But that eventually ended up feeling like never.  And as soon as never comes into the picture, you forget about the eventually.  But eventually came, and it had been worse than they had thought.  A third bot in addition would have been annoying, but bearable.  This, though.  This _separation_ had been what had killed them.  And their relationship had died long before the last of Starscream's things had been packed away.

It had been a regular morning when they received the news.  Starscream had gotten it first, because Skyfire's display always lagged a little.  But a few minutes after, Skyfire's optics met his with understanding, and sorrow.  His hand slowly slid across the table and took Starscream's.  Neither of them said anything.  There was nothing to say.  They were both comforting themselves with the fact that the date was still months off.  Today wouldn't be good-bye.  Nor would tomorrow.  Not even the day after tomorrow.  So, they never discussed it.  They acted like they had never even read it.  Starscream still spent plenty of time thinking about it.  It plagued his thoughts every night, and warped his dreams into nightmares.  But Skyfire had always been there.  Was always ready to stroke his wings until he got through the night.

He wondered how often he thought about it.

For a while, Starscream entertained the idea of a long-distance relationship.  So what if he lived with a new trine?  They weren't required to share a berth.  Or even a _room_ , once they were moved out.  It could be doable.  It _could_.  Except he always had to remind himself that he could do it.

Five days before the move, a day Starscream had always been sure was too far into the future to _truly_ worry about, Skyfire took him out.  He thought nothing of it.  Even when it was to their favourite bar, where they had so many great memories.  Their first drunken, "I love you" made way for their sober ones the following morning. 

Even when he had taken his servo, passing his thumb over the back of it.  It wasn't like this was the first time they had held servos here.  Certainly not the first time _ever_.  All that was different was that impending day.  It sounded so fake. 

Then Skyfire started to speak.

At first, Starscream was confused.  Why had he never told him this story?  After millions of years with someone, it was almost impossible not to know everything about them. 

From his face, it was clear that this was hard for Skyfire to admit.  He didn't meet Starscream's optics.  He just kept staring at their combined servos, as if afraid that his partner would pull away.  And he did, as hard as it was to do so.  He stopped him mid-sentence.  He should have stopped him before he started, after finally figuring out what he was trying to do.

This was the worst moment in Starscream's life.  Nothing could be worse than this.  At least it would make the move bearable.  He didn't have to wait five days to break Skyfire's spark.  He had already done that.  In the little dive bar just down the street.  Where they served the sweetest energon Starscream had ever tasted.  But seeing his partner's optics so dim, it tarnished the flavour.  He doubted he would ever be able to tolerate anything sweet ever again.

"I think we should just... go."  Every word felt like sandpaper on his throat.  Each syllable fought him harder than the last.  Every part of him, down to the smallest circuit, protested.  _Take it back!_ they screamed.  But they left.  And Skyfire escorted Starscream out as if nothing had changed between them.

Everything had changed, though.  Even with Skyfire's servo on the small of his back, where it damn well belonged, he could feel the stiffness in his arm.  It was all a formality.

As the days counted down, and Starscream's side of their room became more sparse, he stopped himself from asking Skyfire to finish his story.  He wanted so badly to know what he regretted most.  So that he could tell him that he loved him no matter what his past entailed.  All that mattered was their future.  Their future _together_.

Skyfire had grown distant, but he was still Skyfire.  And every smile, every word, hell, just his existence was reminding Starscream why he loved him.  If he was a better bot, if he knew that he could remain faithful to him, he would have jumped at the chance for any relationship with him.  But he knew himself.  He knew if he didn't break his spark now, he would break it in the future.  An unfaithful mech was not the way he wanted to be remembered.  And that's what he would become, if "probably every couple of months" was the best he could hope for.

The worst part, though, the one thing that he and Skyfire could agree would be the only thing to make this transition worse, was ending up with Skywarp.  One night and a near-death injury later, it had all been proven.

"Maybe we could all share a berth once they move us out," Thundercracker suggested.  "It helps with the lo--"

"No!  No.  _Primus_ no."  He'd rather stay in the common quarters for the rest of his life.

Thundercracker pursed his lips, turning yellow optics to the floor.  "You know, Skywarp was so excited to meet you.  He's your biggest fan.  But you won't even give him a chance."

"May I remind you?"  Starscream pointed to his back.  "I almost died, thanks to him."  And what a humiliating death that would have been.  "Oh, and, I don't know, maybe I'm too good to be paired up with Vos' biggest failure?  No, that's too generous, with _Cybertron's_ biggest failure.  I keep thinking that this must be some sort of punishment, but I can't recall ever something to _heinous_ as to deserve this!"

Thundercracker folded his servos in his lap.  He straightened his back and looked at Starscream coolly.  Now this was how they should be approaching him.  They had only known each other for a day and yet they were acting like they had known each other for years.  They didn't deserve that sort of informality.

"If you had listened to me and left me alone, Skywarp wouldn't have done this to you.  How would you have felt to wake up to find someone in your conjunx's berth?  Can you really say you would have reacted better?"

"Are you trying to convince me that his behavior was _justified_?"

"Of course not.  But I know Skywarp.  He's likely giving himself more punishment than he deserves.  And I know he's always struggled to get a handle on his emotions.  We need to cut him more slack than usual.  He _is_ trying."

"He almost killed me!"  Starscream couldn't believe this was happening.  Maybe this was a horrendous nightmare.  Any time now he would wake up with Skyfire's arms around his waist, with his warm ventilations misting on his audial.  He had never been transferred.  Partnerships were still a valid seeker formation.  And that night, with no reason to stop him, they would go to that bar.  The one Starscream couldn't visit anymore.  He would listen as Skyfire recounted the thing he regretted most in his life.  He would listen and understand and hold his hand the entire time.  He would memorize this moment, and then perform his act of devotion.  He could live the life he was meant to live with the one he was meant to live it with.  But the hard berth beneath him reminded him that this was no nightmare.  This was cold, harsh reality.  A reality that he escaped from in his worst nightmares.

The most nightmarish of all the realities returned then, helm down and field wafting regret over his trinemates.  He didn't meet anyone's optics.  He didn't say a word.  Just waited in the open door.

"We're going to go train," Thundercracker decided, going to his trinemate.  He gave him a gentle forehelm kiss that didn't rouse him from his misery.  "Get some rest, Starscream.  You two can have a nice talk when we get back."


	3. Chapter 3

Buy a gaming chip.  That was the first thing Starscream was going to do tomorrow.  The two pre-installed in his HUD were incredibly boring and not nearly challenging enough to be entertaining.  He was almost glad when he heard the door click with the return of his trinemates.  At least it would give him a distraction.

He had moved to the chair.  There was no way that he was going to be recharging in that lumpy berth.  Turning to face his trinemates as they stepped inside, he said, "If we're going to be living together, then I need to set out some ground rules."

Skywarp's optics rolled at the mention of rules.  "Well, hello to you t--"

"First," Starscream cut him off, "the bottom bunk is my bunk.  That means nothing but me and my things are allowed on it.  Especially arms and legs.  I'm looking at you, Skywarp."

Skywarp scoffed.  "I know how to keep my hands to myself."  Then he added, under his ventilations, "Unlike someone."

Thundercracker gave him a stern look.  They were supposed to be making up not getting angrier with each other. 

Skywarp didn't stay angry for very long.  Instead, he gave his conjunx a sly smile.

"Hey, TC."  He stepped behind him and wrapped his arms around his waist.  Nestling his helm in the crook of Thundercracker's neck, he said, "You can invade my space all you like.  I don't care if _anything_ of yours dangles into my berth."

Starscream cleared his throat before Skywarp's lips could reach Thundercracker's neck.  He was awarded a pissed off look from Skywarp.  "And that?  Doesn't happen here.  I don't want to see it."

"What?"  Skywarp's wings plummeted.  "You can't do that!"

"No," Starscream agreed.  "I can't."  He rested an elbow on the table as Skywarp decided that that meant he could continue.  As he leaned against his fist, a satisfied smirk spread across his face.  "But..."  Skywarp froze.  "I could write a well-worded letter to Slipstream about how I'm concerned that your relationship is affecting your ability to be the best seekers you can be.  She'd believe me.  Skywarp is clingy enough."

Seething with rage, Skywarp slowly took his servos off of Thundercracker.

"Blackmail.  Really?  That's how you're going to play this?"  Thundercracker gave him a disapproving look.  What did Starscream care what he thought about him?

"Whatever works."  Starscream smiled wider.

Skywarp's ventilations came hard and fast.  Starscream could feel the heat surging from him all the way across the room.  He had one hand on the doorknob, threatening to crush it as he slowly turned it.

Catching his arm before he could open the door, Thundercracker murmured, "Deep ventilations.  You know that anger is just a cover emotion.  Talk it out.  What's it covering?"

"More anger!" Skywarp shouted, right in his face. 

Thundercracker didn't even flinch.  How the hell was he able to stay so calm?  Even Starscream had thoughts about jumping in and yelling back.  Mostly to further antagonize him.  While Thundercracker was doing his best to de-escalate the situation.  "I know anger is easy.  But you can't get yourself worked up.  Ventilate with me."  He made sure he met his conjunx's gaze before intaking air.  His servo rose with the ventilation.  When he was sure that Skywarp was with him, he let his servo fall and the air flow out.  "You're doing great."

It took a few more intakes and exvents for the shimmering heat to dissipate.  Then Skywarp said, "Okay.  I'm out of the danger zone."

"Now, Starscream."  Thundercracker turned towards him, clasping his servos together.  All business.  As if they weren't discussing how Starscream didn't want to come back to find them fragging each other silly.  He'd seen practically everything else and they'd only been here a day.  "I understand that it can be hard to see us together after--"

"It's not hard.  It's just gross."

Thundercracker pursed his lips.  Good.  He needed to know how to get under his plating, too.  "Regardless, there is no reason to punish us.  No matter how affectionate, or, _clingy_ , we are, we never bring it to training.  And we certainly wouldn't bring it on missions.  You might think this will help our performance, but I think you'll find that this decision will affect us negatively as a trine in the long run."

Scoffing, Starscream said, "You really can't keep from interfacing until you get your own room?"

"We were never planning on interfacing.  That would be irresponsible, which we are not.  What you are demanding we do is keep our love private.  Which is completely unreasonable, and something that we would never ask of you."

"Because I would never do that," Starscream pointed out.

"Starscream, you're being unfair."

"Oh, _I'm_ being unfair?"  Starscream stood and got right in Thundercracker's face.  For a moment he thought his legs would give out beneath him, but they held.  "Okay, Thundercracker.  You have three months.  You will be moving to Vos to train with a new trine, as partnerships will no longer be a suitable seeker format.  We believe that there is more safety in numbers, and that this will benefit you and seekers as a whole.  We will be getting back you with more information as we receive it.  But, we will fail to mention that these new trine members are two classes below you.  That we expect you to spend vorns of your precious time training them and waiting for them to catch up.  _If_ they catch up."

"We didn't ask for this!"  Skywarp pushed between them.  "We didn't want _you_."

"Thundercracker seemed quite happy to have me last night."

Starscream wasn't allowed time to smirk.  A hand on his throat slammed him into the wall, with another fist right before his face.  It was shaking with rage.  Poised to strike, but it didn't.  Beyond it, Skywarp's face contorted with anger.  He seemed to be waiting for something. 

"Do it."  His words barely made it through his constricted throat.

Thundercracker spoke up then.  "Is he worth it?"

"I don't know!" Skywarp screamed.

"Let him go," Thundercracker advised.  "Take a walk.  Decide if you still want to do it when you get back."

While the idea of a punch to the face was not a pleasant one, it would be the most valid excuse to transfer him.  They would never house Starscream with such a dangerous mech.  Or, better yet, have Skywarp arrested and replaced.  Then Starscream would have the opportunity to try and get between Thundercracker's legs.

It was like Skywarp was trained.  It was clear that this wasn't the first time this had happened.  While it did take considerable effort on Skywarp's part to finally release him, he was already starting to calm down.  A lining of regret slowly spread through his field.  He started to leave, then paused beside Thundercracker.  He went to say something, and then decided not to.  He left without a fuss.  Wings high and stiff.

As soon as the door clicked closed, Starscream was allowed to smirk.  He rubbed his throat, but everything seemed to be in working order.  "Sensitive, isn't he?"

"Do you have to antagonize him?"  Thundercracker shoved him aside on his way to the desk.  "This transition has been hard on us too!"  He sat down with an angry frown, but his optics crinkled with worry.

"Yeah, whatever."  Starscream waved his servo dismissively.  At least _they_ got to be together.

Taking a deep ventilation, Thundercracker folded his servos neatly in his lap.  "You come to us, with a list of demands--"

"I'd hardly call it a 'list.'"

"And yet you refuse to budge even a little bit.  We have to be able to _compromise_ if we ever hope to be able to live and work together."

"I don't plan on working with Skywarp for any length of time."

"And what will you do?  Make an appeal?"  Thundercracker shook his helm and crossed his arms.  "You know they're not going to care.  They've already got their hands full with all of the relocations.  All they're going to do is tell you what I'm going to tell you right now: suck it up.  You don't get a choice in trinemates.  But you do get a choice in how you choose to treat us.  And I can guarantee that you won't get anything good out of Skywarp as long as you treat him like scrap.  Oh, and may I remind you that the trine's leader is the first bot they look to when a trine isn't performing as well as it should?  You're only hurting yourself.  I figure you might actually listen to that, since it's clear you're the only person you care about."

"Oh, slag off.  You're too blind in love to see how bad he is for you."  Starscream slowly stepped towards him, letting his field lead the way.

Thundercracker straightened in confusion, but he figured out Starscream's intentions by the time he was in arm's reach.  By then, Starscream had stooped down until their faces were inches apart.

"I'm sure I could show you something much better."

"You're so full of yourself."  Thundercracker shoved him away, standing.  "You have nothing that Skywarp doesn't already give me.  And he loves me because of who I am.  Not how proficient a seeker I am." 

"What does love get you?"  Starscream crossed his arms.  "At the end of the day, all you have is yourself.  So why bother with anyone?"

Thundercracker's gaze had softened the next time it fell on him.  "You won't always think like this."

"Slag off."  The last thing he needed was a lecture.

"Can I make a suggestion?" Thundercracker asked.  As if he wasn't going to anyways.

"Please, grant me your _invaluable_ wisdom, Thundercracker."  Starscream rolled his optics.

"Train him.  I'm perhaps too close to Skywarp, too soft on him, and not nearly as good of a seeker as you.  I bet we were put together so that you might find what will help him.  You don't want to be with Class C seekers?  Fine.  Make him Class A material.  Show Slipstream what Iacon's Greatest Seeker has to offer.  If all you do is antagonize Skywarp and refuse to even _try_ , then of course you're not going to have great seekers behind you."

Starscream gave a growling sigh.  "If millions of years here hasn't been able to train him what makes you think I can?"

"Because you're Starscream."  He smiled at him.  "The mech Skywarp spent years admiring.  Wishing that he could be like you.  Show him how you became who you are.  _Mold_ him."

"You make it sound so easy."

"And you act like it's impossible.  You haven't even trained with us yet."

Starscream pinched the bottom of his crest.  He could feel a helmache coming on.  The first of many with them.  "I know what seekers like Skywarp are like.  They complain and they train as little as possible, and then they get upset when they don't get any results.  They look at someone like me and assume that I'm just naturally good and then they complain about how unfair it is that they're just bad.  But they never try.  So why should _I_ try?"

"You don't know Skywarp.  He's not like that.  Sure, he complains about training.  But he always tries.  Harder than anyone I know."

"Forgive me if I don't believe you."

"He does his best.  Always.  I've never seen Skywarp give anything but his all."

As if summoned, Skywarp returned then.  He was certainly giving his all to being droopy.  His wings, his optic covers, his hand falling away from the doorknob-- all droopy.  Five minutes had sucked all the rage from him and replaced it with regret.  Regret that filled his field and made the room that much more stifling. 

There was shame there, too, as Skywarp climbed into his berth.  He didn't say a single word.  Didn't look at Starscream.  Or even Thundercracker.

"How do you feel, Skywarp?"  Thundercracker took his servo and looked right into his half-lidded optics.  They stared right through his conjunx.  And for a while it seemed like he was going to ignore him.

"Stupid.  Tired."

"You're not stupid."  He shot Starscream a look.  Daring him to even try to contradict him.  "Do you still feel angry?"

Skywarp shrugged.

"Yes or no?"

"I guess.  I don't want to talk about it."

"Alright.  You get some sleep."  He kissed his forehelm.  "If you feel up to it later, you can come join us at the bar.  Okay?"

Starscream raised an optic ridge but didn't question it.  After all of this, he could use a drink.  Or three.

Skywarp's gaze moved to Starscream then.  Sort of looking at him but also kind of looking at nothing.  A tiny flare of jealousy flickered and then fizzled.  A sigh wracked his frame, defeat letting his wings scrape the wall.  "Have fun."

"We'll be back in a few hours."  Thundercracker kissed his forehelm.

Skywarp's optics looked down so far Starscream thought he'd just closed them.  But a sliver of red still shone.

"I can't seem to recall when I agreed to get a drink with you," Starscream said once they were in the hall. 

"You don't have to if you don't want to.  I just figured Skywarp could use some space, and I doubt you want to be left alone with him, anyway."

"Okay.  But you're paying."

 

It sat glistening before him.  Sure to be sickly sweet with the added bonus of forgetting your worries.  If he had enough.  Quickly enough.  If he could get past the first sip without thinking about Skyfire.  His first drink since that night.  He was already thinking about him.  He had already lost.

A glass clinking against his roused Starscream from his spiralling thoughts.  "Cheers," Thundercracker said, taking a drink from his own glass.

Habit moving his hand, Starscream tasted the sweetness on his glossa, as the first properly filtered drink flowed into his intake.  So smooth that he barely felt it.  A smile found his lips before the sweetness reminded him.  It wasn't quite the same.  Nothing was ever as good as their bar.  But it would have hurt more if it had been that good.  And it would have hurt less if Thundercracker had kept his mouth shut.

"So, what was he like?"

"Who?"  Starscream glared away.  He took another swig.  He threw it right back, avoiding his glossa.  He wished in this moment that he was a lightweight.  He wanted his processor to swim.  To forget.  To find some mech and frag him before the pain could set in again. 

"Your partner."  Thundercracker grabbed the hand around Starscream's drink before he could finish tossing it back.  "That won't help."

A scowl quickly rose to hide Starscream's sparkbroken look.  He kept his helm turned, though.  Just in case.  He tried to keep his voice nonchalant, but it came out much more defeated.  "What does it matter?"

"It certainly seems to matter to you.  And if it matters to you, it matters to me."

"Thundercracker..."  Starscream sighed.  "Why do you keep trying?  It might take a while but I'm going to be transferred.  So just.  Stop."

"Because we're a trine now.  Because I doubt they'll actually transfer you without a good reason.  Because I genuinely think we could be friends.  Because the Starscream I heard about was difficult, yes, but not unhappy.  You can try to pretend that you're okay and that you're over it but I can see how upset you are.  And you're taking it out on Skywarp, so, if even for that very selfish reason, I'd like to help you.  Maybe talking about it will help.  Then perhaps I can begin to understand you."

Starscream wrenched his hand out of Thundercracker's grip, spilling a bit.  He swallowed the rest of his drink, but it only left him with the beginnings of a buzz.  So he took his trinemate's drink, and finished that off, too.  And _woah_ was Thundercracker's drink ever strong.  That did the trick.  It also left a horrible taste in Starscream's mouth.  It tasted like what dealing with Skywarp felt like.

"Excuse me."  Thundercracker waved down a service bot.  "I'll have another."

"Give me two more," Starscream demanded.  "Double shots this time."

"You've had plenty." 

"No, I haven't."  He glared at the service bot, daring him to say otherwise.  "Two more.  Double shots.  _Please_."

They scurried off before Thundercracker could protest again.

"Drinking until you black out doesn't make him disappear.  Nor does not talking about it.  I can bet that he misses you as much as you miss him.  And I doubt he'd want you drinking this much."

Starscream scoffed.  How cute.  "He doesn't miss me."

"Of course he does."

Starscream should have found a reason to pull his hand away from Thundercracker's.  But it was nice.  Not as nice as Skyfire's touch, but nice enough.

New drinks set in front of him, Starscream added to his buzz.  Thundercracker threw a quick thank-you after the bot as he ran off again.  Then he held Starscream's other hand.  A clever ploy to keep him from drinking.  He'd let it slide.  For the moment.

"I broke his spark.  He doesn't want me."  The truth slid from his voicebox much more easily with a coating of engex to help it along.

"A broken spark is still capable of loving," Thundercracker gently reminded him.

"Oh, is it?"  Starscream yanked both of his hands away, finishing the first of the two drinks.  His words started to slur a bit as they came out next.  "If Skywarp had stopped you halfway through the conjunx ritus, would you still love him?"

"Of course."

Starting, Starscream squinted at him.  "Really?"

"I would be hurt, yes, but he's not obligated to accept my offer.  I would love him even if he wanted nothing to do with me."

"You're crazy."  Starscream hugged himself in lieu of other arms.

Thundercracker laughed.  "Probably.  But that's how I feel.  And I'm sure that's how he feels.  How _you_ feel."

"It wouldn't make sense."  Starscream shook his helm.  He had gotten to used to Skyfire comforting him that he had no idea how to help himself.  "He's so far away now, and, and we're living with different people."  He shut his optics.  He hadn't meant to say so much.

"It's not too late."  Thundercracker's gently stroked Starscream's arm.  It was a nice gesture but did nothing to ease the constriction of his spark.  "You could try calling him."

"I can't."  Shaking his helm sadly, he met those yellow optics.  So different from Skyfire's.  "If I can't live with him, what's the point?"

"The point is love."

"It's really easy to preach about love being some beautiful, unwavering thing when you get to see your conjunx every morning."  His tank turned as it did its best to process all this engex.  He suddenly wished he had drank more slowly.  His voice was very quiet for his next words.  "A conjunx who clearly loves you more than anything."

Thundercracker tried to stealthily move Starscream's second drink out of his reach.  He pretended to not notice. 

"You have a point," Thundercracker admitted.

"I should... do paperwork," Starscream decided, standing.  One hand rested over his toiling tank.

"Maybe I should walk you back."  Thundercracker stood, too.  Poised to catch Starscream if his stabilizers failed.

"I'll be fine."  He added, "really," when Thundercracker remained unconvinced.  "It's not a far walk."

"I don't feel--"

"Please.  I'd really like to be alone now."  He let his hand fall away.  Tried his best to look as sober as possible.  He wasn't that drunk.  Not really.  He had just had too much too fast.  In a little while this would be nothing.  Before Thundercracker could agree or disagree, he tossed his card out onto the table.  "Drinks are on me, so have another if you'd like." 

He quickly made his exit after that, pausing to vent just outside the bar.  There wasn't enough engex in the world to stop his spark from hurting.  But his tank had still decided that what he had had was too much.  Even with his throat burning as he purged, it was not enough pain to overshadow his broken spark.


	4. Chapter 4

The lights cycled back on as Starscream entered the room.  He worried for a moment that he might wake Skywarp-- might have to _deal_ with him-- but he was sleeping facing the wall.  The light didn't reach his face.

As much as Starscream wanted to curl up in his own berth and grant himself a few hours peace, there was actually some paperwork he was neglecting.  This was leadership, he supposed.

It wouldn't have been so bad.  Even though he was tired and everything ached, at least he'd have a little peace.  Paperwork could actually be kind of relaxing.  But Skywarp decided that the sound of Starscream sitting down was going to be what woke him. 

"Thundercracker?"

"No.  Sorry to disappoint."  He tried to keep at least a little contempt out of his voice. 

"Where is he?"  He slowly rolled over, blinking.

"At the bar."  _Please go back to sleep_.

"Mmm..."  The berth creaked as Skywarp lifted himself up onto one elbow, rubbing an optic with his free hand.  "What are you doing?"

"Paperwork."

"You do paperwork?"  Skywarp seemed genuinely surprised.  Thundercracker had likely done all of the work before their conglomerate.  What a nice, naive life his trinemate must live.

Starscream sighed.  Not tonight, it seemed.  "Someone has to make sure we move out of here.  And that we get the training field booked.  I'm sure it seems like things just _magically happen_ for you but they really don't."

"Sorry, I just... I dunno.  Your life just sounded so much more exciting than... this."  He gestured to their cruelly small room. 

It had been more exciting.  There had still been paperwork but he could trust some of it to Skyfire.  And they could do it from the comfort of their own berth, half leaning on each other.  Not on a berth that wobbled every time you got into it and threatened to detach itself from the wall at any moment.  It would just be Starscream's luck to be squashed when Skywarp's berth finally gave out under his weight.

"Like that time when you flew through that lightning storm even though everyone told you not to."  There was a sparkle to Skywarp's tired optics.

A smile teased at Starscream's mouth.  "Well, my partner had been injured."  He wasn't stupid enough to do that for no reason, much less to give himself a reputation for being disobedient, but upon his return that was what he was given.  But he would do it again in a sparkbeat if he knew Skyfire's life was on the line.

"Yeah, but you didn't get hit once!  No other seeker has ever been able to do that unscathed!"  Skywarp's berth groaned and shook as he dismounted. "And then there was that time when you flew across the Sea of Rust in just _one day_.  I just..."  He blew out a sad puff of air.  "I don't even know if I could do that in two days."  The sparkle returned a moment later, dazzling Starscream.  He hated to admit it, but...  His optics were pretty.  He'd never really looked at them properly.  "You're _amazing_."

Starscream couldn't hide the smile, so he pretended to be engrossed in his paperwork.  It also forced him to tear his gaze away.  They weren't _that_ pretty.  Nothing like Skyfire's.  No one had optics like Skyfire's.

He felt the tingle of Skywarp's field, full of remorse, as he stepped closer to him.  "Hey, I'm, um, sorry about... um..."  His hand neared Starscream's wound, but didn't touch it.

Starscream pulled his field back in.  When the hell had he let it get out that far?  He didn't want anyone else to be able to read him.  Not like Skywarp.  He wouldn't be surprised if their neighbours knew what he was feeling.  He had next to no control over it.

"And for... being me...  I wish I could do better."  His voice dropped to barely more than a whisper.  "You deserve better..."

"You could take extra lessons," Starscream suggested, refusing to look at him.  There was already sympathy stirring in his spark.  He had to be firm.  "That's what I did.  I wasn't sparked with talent.  I e _arned_ it."

Fear swarmed Skywarp's field.  Starscream could practically taste it.  His field had engulfed the entire room in a chaos of feeling.  It crackled like a lightning storm.  His wings itched and every part of him yelled _flee_.  Lest he be struck by a bolt.

"No, I... no.  No, I can't."

"Then I guess you'll continue to be sorry."

It nearly felt like a lightning bolt ripped through the room.  The fear feel away to... nothing.  His field was still there, still tickling Starscream's plating, but beyond that irritant there wasn't anything.  Like he had suddenly stopped feeling.

"Yeah.  Story of my life."

 

::Pick up the pace Skywarp! This exercise isn't supposed to be difficult!::  Starscream wanted nothing more than to join his trinemates in the air.  Show them how a real seeker flies.  He'd even show up Thundercracker, who had nearly lapped his trinemate.  ::Thundercracker doesn't want to ventilate your exhaust!::

Thundercracker banked and took to the outside on the next turn.  But even taking the longer route, he still managed to pass Skywarp.  ::You can do it,:: he murmured to him.  Starscream barely heard him over the comm.

::I'm trying!:: Skywarp screeched back, nearly blowing out Starscream's audials.  He clutched at his helm as the ringing subsided.

"Trying."  Starscream had been watching him this whole time.  He kept letting off his throttle at weird moments.  Like on straightaways.  But he should only be letting off just before a turn.  There was no rhyme or reason to it.  And yet his voice was always strained. 

::You don't look like you belong up there,:: Starscream growled.

::Oh, shut it!::  Skywarp's engine roared as he accelerated, then hiccupped as he suddenly let off, dropping a few feet before levelling off again.

Sighing his frustrations out, or at least most of them, Starscream said, ::Okay, Skywarp,:: there was still an edge to his voice, ::you're coming up on a straightaway.  All I want you to do is completely open up your throttle and show me your top speed.  Don't worry about making the next turn, just keep going until you reach it.  Let me know once you're there, so I can record it in the databanks.::

::I'm already going as fast as I can!::  Skywarp jerked in the air again.  Primus, he was the least graceful flier Starscream had ever seen.  He looked like he was flying on just fumes, but his energon levels were topped up.  They'd made sure of that before they came out here.

::I can clearly see that you're not.::  Starscream put his hands on his hips and watched as Skywarp disobeyed him and continued following the red laser path in the sky.  ::On the _next_ straightaway,:: he kept his voice harsh, as gentleness didn't seem to work, ::go as fast as you physically can.  That is an _order_.::

Skywarp growled through the comm, but as he rounded the turn he did speed up.  His frame was barely wobbling as he finally broke into speeds that were seeker-worthy, but he gave up again.  ::There!  That's it!  That's all you're getting!::  Passing down through the light path, he transformed and landed as gracefully as he had been flying.  Starscream thought about helping him off of his aft, but who knew if his horrible flying was contagious.  He already felt more like a Class B seeker just from watching him.

Thundercracker followed suit, landing beside Skywarp.  That was fine.  Starscream had already gotten plenty of useful data from him.  He transferred it onto a portable drive as Thundercracker helped Skywarp up, pulling him in for a hug.

"It's alright."  Thundercracker stroked Skywarp's back, glaring at Starscream.  Daring him to break them up.  He'd allow this hug.  This time.  But he couldn't coddle him forever.

"I'm going to book the track again tomorrow, if I can," Starscream informed them.  "You can have the day off, if you'd like, Thundercracker.  I'll need some time to go over this to design a training plan for you.  On the other hand, Skywarp," he didn't keep the disappointment from his voice, "you have to stay out and train tomorrow.  I didn't get any data for you.  At least, nothing useful."

"What's the point?"  Skywarp pushed Thundercracker away.  He hadn't really been reciprocating the hug to begin with.  Instead, he hugged himself.  "It's not like I'm ever going to be good enough for you.  I'm just a useless excuse for a seeker!"

Starscream thought about comforting him, but only for a moment.  He was right.  "Which is why you need to _train_.  And you have to give it your all one hundred percent of the time."

While Skywarp fumed, Starscream turned off the winding test track in favour of a straight white tunnel of light.  Near each end was a grid of white lasers.

Skywarp was already shaking his helm before Starscream could even speak.  "Nope.  No.  Nope.  I'm not doing that."

"I thought you might be ready for more advanced exercises, but you've proven that you're clearly not.  So you're going to do fifty flies through here, transforming once you pass through the grid.  I should be able to get at least _some_ data to work with.  Because at this point, I have no idea how to help you improve.  I'll show you what I want you to do."

Jumping in the air and transforming, Starscream flew straight up until he was level with the tunnel.  A small part of him wanted to be condescending.  To _really_ break Skywarp down so he'd have somewhere to build from.  But he would have done this regardless.  He _needed_ to fly.  He felt caged.

::I know how to do this!:: Skywarp screamed into his comm.

::I'm making absolute sure that you do.  Hence the demonstration.::  Only Skywarp could mess up flying in a straight line. 

Opening his throttle all the way, Starscream raced through the tunnel.  Having done this exercise himself so many times, he didn't need the grid to tell him when to transform to turn.  His pedes just reached the very end of the tunnel before he was back in jet mode and racing back through the other side.  Tipping his nose up he transformed midair and landed safely on his pedes.  He couldn't help but give Skywarp a smirk.  Only he wasn't looking at him.  His back was turned as he stomped away.

"And where do you think you're going?" Starscream called after him.

"Home!  I'm not doing that stupid exercise!  It doesn't work!"

With a scowl, Starscream transformed again, giving a quick burst to his thruster and then transforming to land in front of Skywarp.  He put his hands on his hips and fanned his wings out to be as wide as possible.  "Skywarp--"

"Frag off!"  Skywarp lead with his shoulder as he pushed by Starscream.

"I did not give you permission to leave!"  Starscream grabbed his shoulder and pulled him back.  Not expecting the sudden force, Skywarp fell with a squeak.

"You don't have to hurt him!"  Thundercracker ran over, stooping to check on Skywarp.

"I didn't mean to throw him to the ground.  But he wasn't obeying me."

"I think Skywarp's had enough," Thundercracker said quietly.  "I think we all need some rest."

"Fine.  But I expect you out tomorrow, Skywarp.  Bright and early.  If I can't get a track, we'll just find a field and work with that."  He stared him down, waiting for an answer, but Skywarp just sat there.  "Do you understand?"

"Yeah, yeah," Skywarp said under his ventilations.

"C'mon."  Thundercracker helped his trinemate to his pedes.  "Let's go have an oil bath.  Would you like that?"

"I guess." 

"Would you like to come with us?" Thundercracker asked, probably only because he was there.  Skywarp certainly wouldn't want him there. 

"No, thank you."  Starscream only wanted one if it meant he'd be alone with Thundercracker.

"Okay.  We'll see you back in the room, then?"

Starscream nodded.  He reveled a bit in the idea of some true peace as his trinemates headed off in a different direction.  But then his comm blinked with a message.  He was doomed to never have time to himself.


	5. Chapter 5

_See me_.  A command from Slipstream.  No "please."  No actual time.  Just an order that was expected to be followed through immediately.  She would never actually call you, no.  Then she would know whether or not you were busy.  This way she could be upset with you if you were "late."  It didn't matter if she could check and see that you had the field booked, and thus were training.  Your leg could have been sawed off and she'd still reprimand you for wasting her precious time.  _And_ for bleeding on her floor, how _dare_ you.

Starscream let out a long groan.  She must be able to tell when someone's having a bad day.  She always seemed to request her meetings on the one day he wanted to do anything but see her.  Again, leadership. 

He kicked himself for not taking more charge when he was with Skyfire.  But that's what had worked for them.  Both of them taking on a relatively equal amount of leadership.  Granted, Skyfire had always been more willing to do the more grueling tasks, like status reports.  Likely because Starscream would whine for the whole day before and after the meeting about having to go to the stupid meeting.  Now he had no one to fall back on.  Everything was on his shoulders.  And he didn't even get the benefits of leadership.  Skywarp refused to listen to him and it was clear that Thundercracker would bend the rules if it meant his trinemate benefited.

For all the trouble he had to go through he should at least have a private washracks.  At least one with _stalls_.  But no, he had to clean himself along with every other filthy seeker there.  With many of them ogling him the entire time.  He couldn't help that he was perfect.

What kind of status report could he even give at this point?  A couple days in what was essentially a cell still wouldn't give you enough information on either of them to put a useful report together.  _Hey, Slipstream.  Oh yeah, yeah, it's been pretty okay.  I mean I think one of my trinemates is hot.  Oh, but I wouldn't shy away from the idea of pushing the other one off of a very high cliff.  But he can fly so he'd probably be okay.  I mean maybe.  He is pretty horrendous at flying.  Remind me who's slagging idea it was to put me in a trine with him?_

It was just his luck that Slipstream was moved to Vos during the rework.  Well, he lost Skyfire, has to deal with Skywarp, and kept Slipstream as a commander.  Bad things come in threes, right?  Maybe that would be the extent of his ordeal.  Once they were all moved into their condo he'd see less of Skywarp.  _Much_ less.  He just needed to get through these next few days.  Yeah.

He started towards the entrance.  Aw, slag.  Starscream had no idea where Slipstream's office was.  And there was _no_ way that he'd be asking her for directions.  That'd just give her more reasons to reprimand him.  He had to make a good impression as a leader.  Which would have been much easier if she called this meeting after he had gathered and gone over his trinemates' strengths and weaknesses.  At least Skywarp's report would be easy; he was bad at everything.

"Hey, uh, Thundercracker," Starscream said awkwardly into his comm.  He shifted his weight to one hip, pretending not to notice the random seeker staring at him.  It was like they had never seen a work of art.

"Yes, Starscream, you can still join us."  Thundercracker giggled.  Hot, and cute.  Damn.

"No, that's not it."  He glared at the seeker when they overstayed their optical welcome.  They bashfully scampered away.  "Do you know where Slipstream's office is?"

A disappointed sigh came through his comm.  "You really want out, don't you?"

"Huh?  No, I," Starscream sighed, too, "Status report.  I have to give her a status report.  I'm not quitting."  Asking Slipstream something like that directly would likely be detrimental.  She liked to see it on a datapad before she ignored it.  "I just don't know where her office is, is all."

"Oh."  Thundercracker cleared his throat awkwardly.  "That's... good to hear.  I'll, uh, send you a map.  It can be a bit of a maze here."

"Thanks."  He hung up.

Tapping his foot as he waited for the map, Starscream casually sauntered in the direction of the main building.  It was likely there.  But she would pick an inconvenient office location, just to piss him and every other trine leader off.  He was pleasantly surprised to find it right near the entrance to the main building, where he then began heading.  He'd get there quick and she'd see that putting him with those two was a huge mistake.

Knock?  Or just walk right in?  Knock.  Definitely.  Who knew what she got up to behind closed doors.  It certainly wasn't her job, or she would have organized the trines better.

Rapping on the door, he waited for her to open it.  It slid aside and she said, "Come in."  She already sounded irritated.

Starscream took a couple of steps in and stood at attention, his hands folded neatly behind his back.  When she remained silent, he prompted, "You wanted to see me?"

"Yes, that."  Her optics were on the datapad, flicking back and forth as she skimmed whatever was on it.  With her free hand, she slid another datapad forward on her desk, still not looking up from her reading.  "I received a medical report and I wanted to check in and make sure that your injury isn't bothering you."

Starscream might have taken this for her caring if he didn't know her that well.  It was just protocol.  At least she didn't seem interested in reports.

"I am perfectly fine, thank you."  He wasn't sure if he was supposed to look at the report or not.  He didn't dare get within arm's reach of her desk without her permission.

"Don't go getting yourself killed, okay?  Vos' academy is woefully lacking in proficient seekers.  They seem to let everyone with wings in here."

Starscream waited without speaking.  Then he waited some more.  Slipstream didn't look up from her datapad.  "Is there anything else you wanted to see me about?"

"Oh, you're still here."  She still didn't look up at him.  "I suppose you could give me your report, since you're here.  Just keep it short."

Short wasn't the problem.  "Ma'am, I--"

" _Commander_."  Of course that would be the only time she even looked up at him.  And even then it was only for a split second.

" _Commander_."  He tried to keep the contempt out of his voice.  He wasn't very good at it.  "I can give you what I have on Thundercracker, but Skywarp is nothing short of an appalling seeker.  I would give you his data, except that I don't _have_ any.  And I have to ask why you decided that putting your _best seeker_ with your worst was a good idea."

Slipstream gave a snort of laughter.  "You're hardly my best.  You just take stupid risks and get lucky."

"My numbers don't lie."  His plating flared and his wings lifted until they were nearly parallel.  "And I am positive that I am leagues beyond him in every aspect.  I've only spent a few days with him and I already know that my leadership will not be able to help him."

"Then perhaps you are not as good of a seeker as you say you are."

Oh, _frag_ her. 

"The only logical explanation I can see for this move is to try and get me to rub off on Skywarp or something."  He took a step forward, not caring if he was standing properly anymore.  "Well, I'm not.  He has disobeyed my orders multiple times and he won't even participate in the most basic of training exercises.  I _refuse_ to work with him."

"I'm sorry, Starscream, but my hands are tied.  You can submit a request for a transfer if you'd like, but I think we both know that you won't be happy unless we put you back with Skyfire.  But the truth is, your relationship affected your work.  Too many times you risked your life to save his.  We can't have our best seeker throwing away everything for a common transport jet."  Of course, _now_ she would call him her best.

"He wasn't _common_."  Starscream jammed his fists against his thighs.  It didn't give him nearly the same relief as throwing them in Slipstream's direction, but it helped.  Marginally.

"This is exactly what I'm saying."  Slipstream laid down the datapad finally, giving him her full attention.  "I have told all seekers, time and again, that relationships among trines bring nothing but distractions.  You should all be completely focused on the task at hand."

"Then what are you going to do about _my_ trinemates?" Starscream demanded.  "They're far more unprofessional than Skyfire and I ever were."  Every time he said his name the hand on his spark constricted just that much more.  A dagger would worm its way in whenever someone else mentioned him.  More forceful each time.  How he was still standing, he didn't know.

Slipstream sighed, muttering to herself, "I don't have time for this."  She must have known that Starscream could hear her.

"Skywarp gets jealous if someone so much as looks at Thundercracker for too long.  How could you possibly justify that?"

"Skywarp and Thundercracker are not yet cleared for missions," Slipstream explained.  She spoke as though talking to a sparkling.  After all that he had been through this first week, her patronizing him was just the icing on the cake.  "If and when you get them trained to the point where they are fit for missions, I will personally re-evaluate if their being together jeopardizes the task at hand.  But until then, we just don't know how they will behave out in the field.  If they do something stupid like, I don't know, fly through a lightning storm instead of staying put until it passes, then you'll have a case."

Oh, yes, she'd much rather Starscream have let Skyfire bleed out than take a risk to save him.  She'd argue that there were plenty of other transport seekers.  Then again he doubted she'd even know what love was if it bit her on the aft.  Not that anyone would love her.  He hadn't met anyone who could stand to be in the room with her for even ten minutes.

"You asked me here to give you a status report, and I am telling you that their relationship _most definitely_ would jeopardize missions.  Skywarp would gladly sacrifice himself to keep Thundercracker from coming to any harm."  Slipstream raised her hand for silence but he kept going.  Raising his voice, even.  "And he's more concerned with Skywarp's well-being than anything else.  I would advise an intervention before they have a chance to get out in the field.  Before they have a chance to put _my_ life at risk."

"Starscream, I've already given you my answer.  I don't give a damn if they're fragging in the washracks as long as they're off-duty.  And I already have spoken to Thundercracker about this.  He assures me he will be nothing but professional on the clock."

"And I'm telling you that he lied."  Starscream splayed both of his hands on her desk.  "I've only spent a few days with them and I can tell you they are unhealthily clingy.  Skywarp regularly refuses to go places if Thundercracker will not be with him.  Even to just get energon from the mess hall.  I'm sick of having to deal with both of their nonsense."

"And I'm sick of seeing you in my office."  Slipstream stood, leaning forward so she was right in his face.  But she made sure to show that she was still taller.  Still bigger.  And likely _stronger_.  Her model might be a tad slower, but Starscream didn't want to face her in a fight.  Not that she would attack one of her seekers, but the threat was there.  "You are dismissed."

He could stay and argue, blow off some of his Skywarp anger, but she held the key to his potential future happiness.  Namely, a room of his own.  One with walls thick enough to block the sounds of interface.  Hopefully.

Turning on his heel, Starscream strut from the office.  His wing struts were sore from holding them so stiffly, and they didn't get a break once he was in the hall.  This meeting had been useless.  Slipstream didn't care what he had to say.  She just wanted to remind him that she held all the power.  No matter how brilliant of a seeker he was, unless he wanted her job, and all the slag that came with it, he'd always have to take her orders. 


	6. Chapter 6

"Get up."  Starscream pulled the covers from Skywarp's berth.  He had no place to hide now.

"Let me sleep," Skywarp grumbled as he rolled over.

"I will pull you out of this berth if you don't get up within the next five seconds.  We're already late for our field time, and you need all of the help you can get.  Now, get up."

"Does that five seconds include you talking?" 

Starscream could see the corner of that shit-eating grin.  He grabbed a wing and tugged.  Not hard enough to pull him out of berth, but hard enough to not want to have Starscream do it again.

"Ow!  Primus, I'm getting up!"

In his own berth, Thundercracker groaned and rolled over.  "What time is it?"

"Oh, great, you made me wake up Thundercracker!"  Before Starscream could yell at him and tell him that it was _his_ fault, his trinemate got half-out of berth to look at Thundercracker.  "Too early.  Go back to sleep, babe."

" _Time is wasting_."

"I heard you the first time.  Primus."  Skywarp kissed Thundercracker's forehelm.  "See you later.  I love you."

"I love you too..."  Thundercracker had already passed out again.

It was way too early to have to watch this.  Jealousy reminded him of his sparkache; the first jab of the morning.  That was one reason why Starscream loved mornings.  It was too early to remember why the night before had hurt.  That, or he was too tired to think about anything except how tired he was.  Mornings washed away the pain.  A reset.

"If you're done staring at him we could get going."  Starscream was already at the door, keeping it open with his hip.  His arms were too busy being crossed.

"We should just go back to berth," Skywarp said once they were in the hallway.  He almost didn't get all of the words out before a yawn took over his face.  His whole _frame_.  He stopped walking and leaned against the wall.

"It's not that bad," Starscream growled irritably. 

"You got to sleep before me," Skywarp complained.

"Then maybe next time you won't stay at the bar so late?  You knew we had to train."  Their time ticked away the longer Skywarp just stood there.  He grabbed him by the arm and not-gently pulled him along.

"I can walk!" Skywarp protested.

"Then do it," Starscream said, without letting him go.  His way of walking would likely have them arrive at the field after the next trine had already taken it over.

"But I'm so _tired_."  Skywarp hugged Starscream's arm and leaned most of his weight into him.

Starscream shook him off, blush tinting his cheeks despite his best efforts.  His embarrassment flooded into his field that for some reason he just couldn't reign in around him.  "I'm not Thundercracker!"

"Do you think I'm blind?"  Skywarp didn't seem the least bit phased by this.  Sure, just wrap yourself around any old seeker.  It was all cool.

"Just... don't touch me."

"Geez, you act like I was trying to frag you or something.  Which I'm not.  Because you're gross."

"You would be lucky to have me."  Starscream slit his optics, re-crossing his arms.

"Not as lucky as _you'd_ be to have _me_."

This stare down continued for another few seconds.  Starscream started when his cooling fans came on unexpectedly, his field expanding even further.  The whole world might as well have known how mortified he was.  Maybe he should get more sleep.

"Let's just go train," Starscream finally said, turning. 

No one wanted this timeslot, so their walk was a lonely one.  It might have been easier to hide his whirring fans with the chatter of passing bots.  And any field readings could have been from another seeker passing by.  This just made it all the more obvious that the noise and emotions were coming from Starscream.

It was all Skywarp's fault.  If they didn't have to get up so early just so he could train, he'd be awake enough to get a handle on things.  And then his trinemate would have kept his hands to himself. 

Starscream glanced back to make sure Skywarp was still behind him.  He was, albeit walking pretty slowly.  Whatever.  He was only hurting himself in the long run.

Skywarp had better not make a habit of forcing him to take the awful timeslot.  Mornings were a hell of a lot easier when Skyfire woke him with an extra-charged glass of energon.  Everything was easier with Skyfire.  He'd grown too dependent on his presence.  He'd never let anyone else get that close.  He was completely capable of handling life on his own.  He didn't need someone watching over him like Skywarp. 

Dawn was just breaking over the horizon.  Starscream wished he had the energy to revel in its beauty.  The oranges and reds fading to purple and then to the inky black-blue of the night trying in vain to hold on. 

Skywarp, apparently, had plenty of energy to do so.  "Wow, that sunrise is gorgeous.  I kinda wish I was up to see more of them."

Pale yellow light fell upon Skywarp's frame.  A harsh contrast to the black of his plating.  His red optics looked almost orange under the glow.  Like he had fused Thundercracker's optics with his own.  The biolights that started on his waist and curled up below his wings had the same effect.  They were the colour of the lazy morning sun, not quite ready to shine as yellow.

Starscream had been staring.  He didn't notice when Skywarp turned from the sunrise to him.  It was only once his trinemate spoke that he realized.

"What are you looking at?"

"Huh?  Nothing.  I was just..."  His vocalizer had no more words.  His processor wasn't working fast enough.  "We should warm up."  He transformed and took off towards the field before Skywarp could question him further.  And before he could ask himself what he had been doing.

The air was still quite cool.  It was bearable just walking around, but the air racing over his wings felt like ice.  At least it would keep him alert.

::Can we pick a better time next time?:: Skywarp asked over the comm.  "It's freezing!"

::Can you listen to me next time?::

::Can you not be a complete aft, maybe?::

Starscream shut off his comm.  He just wanted to fly.  Let the winds take him and forget everything beyond the air rushing around him.  If only it weren't so damn _cold_.

Eventually, though, his engine warmed.  Its timid purr turned into a throaty growl and the wind was now a welcome sensation.  Prompting him to go faster.  Push _harder_.  Right to the point where it almost hurt to keep going.  That was where Starscream found his peace.  Where he forgot what pain was.  Where he forgot the world.

He wanted to keep going.  Far past the field.  He wanted to keep flying until the ground beneath him became unfamiliar.  But he had duties.  Pressing responsibilities that he couldn't drop on someone else's shoulders.   A trinemate in need of teaching.

Starscream grumbled incoherently to himself as he landed and tinkered with the field settings.  He decided to do something a little more interactive today.  He mostly just wanted an excuse to fly, though. 

"Before I became your leader, how would you and Thundercracker train?" Starscream asked once he'd finally caught up.  And it had taken quite a while.

"Uh, we didn't."  Skywarp crossed his arms and yawned.

"There's a surprise," Starscream muttered, earning himself a glare from his trinemate.  "So, you never had any sort of routine?  Or practice?"

"Nah."

"Okay.  I'm starting to see why you can't fly."

"Hey!"

"Let me remind you, Skywarp, that Thundercracker's not here to protect you this time."  Starscream regarded him coolly.  "And I expect you to train, and train hard.  If I think that for even a _second_ that you aren't giving your all, I won't hesitate to report you to Slipstream."

Thankfully, Skywarp fell for his bluff.  He got a scared look in his optics.  Starscream was glad that no one here really knew what she was like yet.  To everyone else this was a very valid threat.  And it would be, if they had a commander that actually _cared_.

"Do I make myself clear?"  Starscream raised an optic ridge.

"Yes.  Sir."

Starscream smiled.  "I like the sound of that.  Especially from you."

He brought up the same field that he and Thundercracker had been using from the day before.  Just a plain oval track stretching the length and width of the field.

"Okay, Skywarp.  I've got a little challenge for you.  I want to make a bet.  Perhaps that will get you to actually try."

"I _do_ try," Skywarp muttered.

"I'm sorry?"  Starscream held a servo up to his audial, even though he had most definitely heard him.  "Should I take that as a 'yes?'"

"What are we betting?"

"I'm not betting anything.  But you're going to be betting your oil bath privileges for the next week.  If you can get at least half as many laps completed as I do in what time we have left, then you can continue having your oil baths whenever you please.  But if you don't, then no oil baths for the next week."

"You can't just take those from me!"

"Oh, can't I?"  Starscream raised an optic ridge.  "They're a luxury.  They're not a necessity.  And if you really want to have them, then I guess you'll just have to fly well.  Hopefully this will give you some incentive."

Skywarp looked up at the track nervously.  He scratched at the paint on one of his knuckles.  Starscream only noticed then that most of them had been picked silver.

"And just so you know, no, you don't have a choice in this matter.  If you don't accept my challenge you still won't get any oil baths."  Starscream smirked at him.  He watched as the anger took over Skywarp's frame.  Shaking and then quelling.  Resignation in his optics. 

"Fine." 

"I'll even give you a head start," Starscream offered, sweeping his arm out.

Skywarp gave a little growl before he took off, levelling off into the tube of light.  Once Starscream was sure that his statistics were being monitored, he, too, took off. 

It was easy to overtake him.  At first Starscream had thought half as many laps would be too easy, now he could see that it would be quite a challenge for Skywarp.  Good.  Let him go without oil baths.  If he had to take away everything from him to get something out of him, then this was a good a place to start as any.

::I might just go in your place,:: Starscream taunted him through the comm as he lapped him again.  ::I bet Thundercracker would love the company.::

That got his engines roaring.  But he still let up after a couple of seconds.  Odd.

::You keep your hands off of him,:: Skywarp threatened.

::Oh I will.::  Starscream paused as he came up beside him again.  He slowed to his _achingly_ slow pace and said, ::But I can't promise that he'll keep his hands off of me.::

He sped off again and again he heard Skywarp pursue, but only for a moment.  He was clearly _capable_ of reaching higher speeds.  Why did he always let off?  He might have to frag Thundercracker in front of him just to get some results.  Not that he would complain.

::This isn't you giving your all,:: Starscream said.  Time to find out how much he feared his superiors. 

Not very much, apparently.  This didn't even get a little burst out of him.  He just kept going.  Like this was a leisurely flight between good friends.

::Skywarp.  I mean it.::  Was he calling his bluff? 

The next time he passed him he came in dangerously close, almost hitting him.  He stirred up the air and forced Skywarp to really focus on getting back on course.  It clearly wasn't fatigue slowing him.  Anyone would have woken up from a near miss like that.

::How am I supposed to train you if you don't even try?::

::I _am_ trying!:: Skywarp complained.  His voice was strained like he was focusing everything on this.

Starscream slowed again and flew beside him.  ::This is not trying.  You're not even flying at cruising speed.  How do you expect to be a seeker when you can't even do the most basic of exercises?::

::Shut up!::  Skywarp's engine roared for just a moment.

::I can hear that,:: Starscream said.  ::You were clearly built to go faster than this.  So what is it?  Is something _wrong_ with you?::

:: _Nothing's wrong with me!_ ::

Starscream's audials just about blew out.  The double input from his comm and Skywarp left him with a ringing that made it hard to concentrate.

He couldn't remember the last time he'd flown this slowly.  Maybe with Skyfire.  When they had nowhere to be and all the time in the world.  The only time that this speed was acceptable.  But instead he was with Skywarp.  The mech he wanted to get as far away from as fast as he could.  Preferably forever.

::If you don't pick up the pace, we'll be out here every morning until I can get something akin to a seeker out of you.::  The thought made Starscream's frame sag with future tired mornings, but it would be worth it to make Skywarp's life miserable.

He flew off again, relishing in the rapid air smoothing over his frame.  He even did a barrel roll, seeing as he was already well ahead of Skywarp in laps.  Starscream would have to fly backwards through the course and deduct each reverse lap from his score for Skywarp to have even a chance of winning the bet.  He might as well have fun with it.

::I can't do it, Starscream.  I just can't.::  A defeated voice came through his comm. 

::Not if you just give up.:: 

Starscream stayed back a few lengths to watch him from behind.  It was hard enough to keep the distance steady when Skywarp would randomly bolt forward and then let off the throttle completely.  One time he nearly had his nosecone burned off when he got too close to Skywarp's thruster.

Being as old as he was, and being around seekers his entire life, Starscream had seen a lot of things.  But nothing like Skywarp.  Which he supposed was _good_ when it came to seekers as a whole.  But he wished he had seen someone else struggle with this.  Someone he could seek out for guidance.  Then he wouldn't be ventilating the charred air behind his trinemate. 

::If you can't do this,:: Starscream warned, ::then you'll never be a seeker.  You're a failure.::

Starscream slowly accelerated to pass his trinemate again.  He was sick of denying his frame in the rare event that a miracle occurred and Skywarp became a worthy trinemate.  But as he pulled up beside him, he felt a prickle on his plating.  A familiar prickle.  Before his detection systems could even warn him, he yelled, "Get down, Skywarp!  Land!"  He made sure his trinemate obeyed this order before he followed him.

Skywarp, in his root mode, was only able to get out, "What--" before Starscream transformed and tackled him to the ground.  "What the--"

"Keep your helm down!"  Starscream made sure of this with a servo on the back of it.  He tried to flatten himself and his trinemate as much as possible.  And he waited.  And waited.  But the telltale crack of lightning never came.  He dared a peek and saw no storm clouds, near or far.  Nothing but clear skies.  A perfect day for flying.  He sat up.  "What?"

"What the frag is wrong with you?"  Skywarp slapped Starscream's hand away, picking himself up.  "Were you trying to kill me?"

" _Kill_ you?"  Starscream stood, and indignant tilt to his wings.  "I was trying to _save_ you!"

"From _what_?"  Skywarp looked at him like he had gone mad.

From what, indeed.

"I... I thought I felt lightning."  He'd never forget the feeling of so many close calls.  All worth it, but lightning wasn't something to be taking lightly.  It was bad enough for any mech to be struck, but it caused havoc on a seeker's systems, if it didn't kill you first.

"You are nuts.  I don't know if I trust you to train me anymore."  He was half-joking.  At least Starscream thought he was. 

"Well, in any case, we should stop for today.  Just in case."  Starscream glanced at the skies nervously.

Skywarp followed Starscream's glance with his own, then let his optics fall incredulously on his leader.  But he didn't argue.  Because of course Skywarp wouldn't argue about getting out of training.

"Do I still get my oil baths?"

"Fine.  Whatever."


	7. Chapter 7

Finally finished scheduling and working out their next training session, Starscream had slipped away to have an oil bath.  It was midday, so the baths were next to empty.  He managed to snag a small one just for himself, and no one dared join him.  He let his field out far and displayed nothing but discontentment.  He was much calmer than that, though, with his optics closed and a sigh becoming bubbles as it flowed out his vents.  But he had gotten rather good at disconnecting himself from his field.  Most of the time.

The oil was a perfect temperature.  He liked it almost too hot.  That way it was less viscous and found its way easily into joints and under plating.  Warming him to the core.  It was surprisingly easy to forget that this oil held the dirt of a multitude of other seekers.

Soon he'd have his own oil bath.  One that only his plating would ever touch.  One that he would be sure to have the oil replaced after every bath.  He should have that luxury.  As long as he stayed in Class A.  They treated him like he was royalty.  As they should.  He had regality a Prime would envy.

Starscream couldn't help but let the total calm he was feeling seep out into his field.  He didn't even notice as he let his mouth slip below the surface right up to his optics.  The oil went completely still before he allowed his optics to close.

"Sweet!  An oil bath just for us!"

A stinging splash coated his optics as they flashed open again.  He blinked and sputtered as his optic cleansers flushed out the oil, but they still stung even after he regained his sight.

"Whoops.  Didn't see you there, Screamer."  Skywarp grinned at him. 

"Skywarp, you got oil everywhere," Thundercracker scolded as he wiped at his arms.

"You're just gonna get 'em covered when you get in here."  Skywarp shifted along the bench, ending up much too close to Starscream.  He tried to shuffle away but there wasn't much room that way.  "Get in, babe.  The oil is _heavenly_."

"Perhaps we should use a different one," Thundercracker suggested.  "I believe Starscream wants to be alone right now."

Before Starscream could do anything, like nod enthusiastically, Skywarp flung his arm around him and said, "Aw, Screamie doesn't mind, do ya?"  He kissed his cheek before Starscream could swat him off. 

" _Get off of me!_ "  Starscream shoved him further down the bench.

Skywarp just laughed and cuddled up to Thundercracker when he, too, stepped in.  He smiled with oil-covered lips from his daring and incredibly stupid move.  "I'm just messing with you, Starscream."

"Well, you can 'mess with' Thundercracker all you want.  I'm leaving."  He stood and immediately wanted to sit back down.  But there would be no finding his happy place with Skywarp within arm's reach.  Which he demonstrated by grabbing Starscream's wrist.

"Aw, c'mon, don't get out on account of me.  I can be quiet."  There was actual sincerity in his voice. 

"Really, I was just leaving."  Starscream snatched his arm back.

"I promise I'll be good." 

"Please, Starscream," Thundercracker said.  "Stay.  We were going to invite you out for a few drinks after this anyways.  On us." 

The two smiled warmly at him.  It was kind of creepy.  But he really did want to stay in longer...

"Fine.  But you two stay on your side and I will stay on mine.  That includes _pedes_."  Starscream kicked not-gently at what he had thought were Skywarp's pedes but turned out to be Thundercracker's.  His better trinemate winced but pulled them back to his side.  "Sorry," he added quietly.

Settling back down, Starscream closed his optics and tried to return to his thoughts from before.  But all he could think about was the oil bath he used to have.  The one that was easily twice the size of this one and could easily fit him and Skyfire.  Which brought him to very unrelaxing thoughts as his spark was squeezed and yet another joyful part of life was turned painful.

Opening his optics wasn't much better.  Skywarp had pulled Thundercracker into his lap and had nuzzled into his neck.  They would have been cute if Starscream hadn't been overrun with jealousy.

Skyfire's lap was large enough to accommodate two Starscreams.  But he only ever needed the one.  Safely cradled to his wide chest while hands smoothed oil up tired wings.  He felt like his spark might burst from longing.

"You okay, Screamie?"

Starscream's found his optics focused on the murky oil.  He lifted his helm to see his trinemates watching him, a worried expression on both of their faces.  And not even a trace of snide from Skywarp.  He'd clearly been replaced with a lookalike and Starscream wasn't about to complain.  Maybe this Skywarp would be a better seeker.

"Yeah," he said unconvincingly.  "I'm fine."

"Maybe we shouldn't..." Thundercracker whispered to Skywarp, starting to pull away from him.

"Just do whatever."  Starscream waved his hand and looked away.  "You're going to do it no matter what I say."

Still, Thundercracker got off of Skywarp's lap.  Which made Skywarp free to invade Starscream's personal space again.  He didn't touch him, though. 

"You're welcome to join us," he offered.

"I'm okay, _really_."

"You're looking pretty lonely."  Skywarp was very close now.  Starscream could smell him even over the oil.  He smelt... singed.  It wasn't exactly a _bad_ smell, quite the opposite, actually.  But that usually meant burned out circuits.  Maybe he had actually hurt himself.

"Loneliness suits me just fine." 

Skywarp had backed him into a corner.  Still close.  Still not touching.  He might as well have been.  Starscream could feel his ventilations on his lips.

"Skywarp!"

Pulled by the wrist, Skywarp ended up back on the other side of the bath, laughing as he cuddled back up to Thundercracker. 

"I'm just teasing," he said.  But out of the corner of his optic, he gave Starscream this _look_.  A look that said he wasn't teasing at all.  And it made Starscream's spark churn.  He couldn't tell if it was a good churn or a bad churn.  But it was a churn.  At least it was a welcome change from all the constricting.

"You shouldn't tease him," Thundercracker scolded in a hushed tone.  "We talked about this."

"So you are going to come get some drinks with us, yeah?" Skywarp asked, completely ignoring his trinemate.

"I don't know."  Starscream looked at anything but his trinemates.  Especially Skywarp's wings.  Oil dripped down over the thin red biolight extending the length of it.  _Not_ that he was looking.  Because he wasn't.  And even if he was, he wouldn't have thought anything of it.  It was just a wing.

"But we've got to celebrate."  The wings Starscream was definitely not looking at fell just a little bit.

"What is there to celebrate?" Starscream asked bitterly.  He settled deeper into the corner, pulling his legs in close.

"Didn't you get the message?" Thundercracker asked.

"Message?"

"The one about us getting our condo."  Skywarp smiled and spread out his wings, knocking against Thundercracker's.  "Finally.  A berth where I can stretch out!"

Starscream scoffed.  "Right.  Like they moved us in that quickly."

"But they did, Starscream," Thundercracker said.  "We have the door code and everything.  There was a trine moved out of Vos at the last minute and we were next ones on the list.  We can move in whenever we want now."

Starscream stood quickly.  "Then what the hell are we doing here?"

Starscream would have been okay just running out of there, covered in oil.  Thundercracker, not so much.  He insisted that they still wash. 

While Starscream stood under the stream, his face to the wall, he could hear Skywarp giggle.  Feel optics on his back.  He felt more than just optics, a hand, when he went to try and get solvent on his wings.  He gasped at the touch and held completely still.

"Would you like help?" Thundercracker asked.  That hadn't been the voice he was expecting.

Skywarp wasn't far behind, though.  "We'd get out way faster if you let us each do a wing."  He still didn't touch him though.

Starscream really didn't think about whether it was a good idea or not.  He nodded and immediately felt hands on his wings.  Hands intimately familiar with seeker wings.

Water and solvent let the hands glide smoothly.  Right down to where his wings met his back.  Starscream held himself rigid when a finger dragged down the seam, just trying to get the oil out of there.  That's all this was.  Trinemates helping each other clean.

"Doesn't that feel better?" Skywarp murmured right into his audial.

"Yes..."  Starscream opened optics he hadn't realized he'd closed.  He stepped out of reach of his trinemates.  "Yes, I, uh, think the oil's all off now!  Let's go get moved in!"

That water had been too hot.  His frame was practically steaming.  Once he hopped into the dryer, he set it to the cold air setting.  But no matter how close he stood to the fans, he couldn't dispel the heat from his body.  Or all of the wetness.

He was only one step out of the dryer before Skywarp threw an arm around Starscream's shoulders.  "We should go drinking first.  Our condo will still be there after engex.  Come oooon."

Starscream stepped out of his grasp, flaring his wings angrily.  "I don't need a drink.  I need my own room.  I need.  My.  _Space_."

"Why are you so uptight?"  There he was.  The Skywarp Starscream was used to.  The world was now back in alignment.

"There's still plenty of time to go to the bar."  Thundercracker wrapped an arm around Skywarp's waist.  "We can still celebrate.  Just the two of us."

"But I wanted..."  Skywarp sighed.  "Okay."

"I know, Skywarp."  He kissed his cheek.  "I know."

 

"Tenth floor," Starscream said as they exited the elevator.  "Not bad."

With any luck, they'd have enough space outside their window to take off right from there.  He could take his nightly flight again.  Without having to deal with his trinemates before that.

His own space.  It felt too good to be true.  He hadn't been stuck in that dorm for very long, but it felt like forever.  Like his wings would be cramped for the rest of his life.  But now he could get a proper sleep.  In his own berth. 

"So, we're just gonna do a quick look around and then, drinks, right?" Skywarp asked, helm poking out between Starscream and Thundercracker.  Looking between them both.

" _You_ can go," Starscream said.  "I'm going to berth.  And you should, too.  We have training tomorrow.  Early."

Skywarp groaned.  "But we gotta celebrate."

"I am celebrating.  I'm going to get a full night's sleep for the first time in weeks."

"You're no fun."

"I wasn't trying to be fun." 

Starscream took long strides down the hallway.  He tried not to seem too eager.  But he was dying to just lay in his berth and _sleep_.  Maybe he'd dream about Skyfire.  Maybe he'd dream about anything but what his life was right then.  It would all be welcome.

"I could be tempted into a nap," Thundercracker agreed with a yawn.

"Oh, no, we're going drinking.  You promised."  Skywarp pouted.

"I'll still go.  But if you want me to stay awake I'm going to need a quick power down."

"Primus, you are getting old.  Just don't let yourself get crotchety like Starscream."

Starscream turned to glare and found a teasing smile on his trinemate's face.  He would have told him off but he was simply too tired.  And it wasn't like they would be around each other much anymore.  This ordeal was all but over.

Standing before condo 1017, Starscream punched in the access code.  The door slid open, heaven before his pedes.

The lights cycled on and heaven was... kind of bland.  His new home was nothing like what he and Skyfire had had.  And it wasn't nearly as spacious.  But he couldn't find too much to complain about after being stuck in a room too small to comfortably house even one of them.  He could handle a little cheapness.

"Ooooh, do you think the last seekers here left any engex?"  Skywarp pushed past Starscream, making a beeline for the cabinets.

 "This is nice," Thundercracker remarked.  "Skywarp and I never had this much space before."

Yet another way that Starscream improved _their_ lives while he had to suffer.  But it was nice to see Thundercracker smile.  Especially when he turned that smile towards him.

"C'mon, let's look around.  I'm too excited to sleep now." 

Thundercracker took Starscream's hand and pulled him along, and he thought nothing of it.  It had felt so natural that he didn't even notice until his trinemate gave it a little squeeze.  He squeezed back just a little, more out of habit than anything else.

While Skywarp searched the cabinets for energon that he was not going to find, Starscream and Thundercracker went to see what was behind the two closed doors.  It was a good sign.  Three would have meant a washracks they would have to _share_.  And he didn't put it past his trinemates to frag in the shower.

"I want the bigger room!" Skywarp called, his helm deep in a cabinet.  He had climbed the counter to get a better view of the emptiness up close.

"You get the room with the double berth!" Starscream yelled back.  Soon, he told himself.  Soon he'd have a place all to himself.  And the first thing he would do with that space is put a "No Skywarps" sign on the door.

"Y'know you can move berths, right?" Skywarp said.

"You get what you get!" Starscream shrieked.  _Soon_.

"We can work that all out later," Thundercracker mediated. 

Thundercracker pressed the button for the first door.  The single light on the ceiling came on to reveal a washracks, and a small one at that.  But... that was it.  Just a washracks.

"What?"  Starscream pushed past Thundercracker, bracing himself on the doorframe.  Primus, there wasn't even a _solvent_ function!  Just wash and dry.  Someone was going to be receiving a very angry message from Starscream.  "Does this mean our rooms are _connected_?"  Starscream stepped out of the washracks, lip curling up as he looked at the other door.  Oh, how he wished for a third door then.

Thundercracker said nothing as he followed Starscream to the other door.  A little apprehension and excitement sparked in his field amid all of the curiosity.  If Starscream let his field out Thundercracker would have felt nothing but apprehension. 

Before the next door, Starscream swallowed, his hand hovering nervously over the switch.  He closed his optics as he pressed it, not yet ready to face the truth.  He could see the lights come on one by one through his optic covers, and he slowly let his optics open, dread making his wings fall faster than his expectations for Skywarp's ability.

"You've got to be kidding me."


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's hard to think straight when you are so very, very gay.

" _They only gave us one fragging berth?_ "

Starscream lost it.  He swung random punches and kicked out at everything.  Hitting the wall, kicking the couch, even knocking over a small table.  He would have hit Thundercracker if his trinemate hadn't dodged out of the way.

"Starscream!" he yelled at him.  "Calm down!"

"Calm down?  _Calm down_?"  He paused his tantrum for a moment to glare at his trinemate while he said this.  Then he went back to ruining all of their new belongings.  Well, they weren't really _theirs_.  Which made it okay to break them.  They'd just get replacements.  Like, a whole new apartment.  One with two fragging rooms _like he fragging requested_.

The thought of using a washracks that he knew people had done it in was bad enough, but it was easy enough to clean.  But that berth.  He'd never sleep.  Not to mention that this all but guaranteed that Starscream would walk in on them.  Or else be left to sleep on what was clearly a not-very-comfortable couch.  Which would be doubly hard to sleep on knowing that his trinemates were going at it and he was horribly alone and hadn't overloaded in _weeks_.

Huffing and puffing, Starscream came to a stop, glaring at the berth.  It was hardly bigger than the one he and Skyfire had shared.  How did they expect three seekers to get any sleep in it?

"Are you done?" Thundercracker asked, annoyance in his tone.  He had his arms crossed.

When Starscream turned to face him, he saw Skywarp snickering in the background.  His useless trinemate ducked inside the cabinet he was searching when Starscream's flaring optics found him.

"He's not doing anything wrong," Thundercracker said before he could take a step.  "You're the one trying to destroy our apartment."

"This is _not_ our apartment.  There must have been a mistake."  Yeah.  Yeah, that was it.  The organization of every seeker academy was in shambles after the reorganization.  Clearly, they were in some other trine's apartment.  A trine who was okay with one berth and the worst washracks Starscream had ever laid optics on.  They were likely marvelling at Starscream's private washracks, delighted to have so many wash options.  He would take great joy in tossing them out and retaking what was rightfully his.

"I don't know, Starscream."  Thundercracker seemed to be gazing at nothing as he checked his HUD.  "The letter says apartment 1017, and this is definitely apartment 1017."

"They made the typo and assumed it was right," Starscream decided.  "Because I requested a room with two berthrooms."

"The key word to that sentence is _requested_ ," Skywarp chimed in unhelpfully.  He had tired of checking cabinets and moved onto the washracks.  "I _requested_ to not have a trine leader who was a total aft, but I can see that we're both going to be disappointed."

Starscream had been looking forward to the silence.  To the _peace_.  To be able to sleep on his back with his wings fanned out and not wake with one of them sore and shoved against a wall.  He'd be lucky to sleep on his side comfortably with Skywarp there.

"I have earned a private washracks," Starscream said, a growl in his voice.  He slowly walked over to Skywarp.  "I have earned my own _berth_.  And forcing me, to train the likes of _you_ ," he jabbed a finger into his trinemate's chest, "has earned me far more than that.  I don't _deserve_ this kind of treatment.  I deserve _much better_."

"What, and we don't?" Thundercracker asked, raising his voice.  He took to Skywarp's side, optics and wings flaring.  "We don't just sit around on our afts all day, you know."

"I know _you_ don't," Starscream said to Thundercracker.

"Skywarp shows up to training," Thundercracker defended him.  "He shows up, and he does his best.  That's all we can ask of him."  He took a half step in front of his trinemate, physically shielding him from Starscream.  But his twitching blue wing couldn't hide the look of self-hatred on Skywarp's face. 

Thundercracker took a deep ventilation, closing his optics for a moment.  When they opened, their glow had returned to normal.  "There's not much we can do about this right now," he said calmly.  "I know you're upset.  But this isn't your fault and this isn't Skywarp's fault.  Screaming at each other and breaking things isn't going to help.  So why don't we all go have a few drinks and celebrate that at least we're not stuck in a cramped dorm room, hm?"

"I'm going for a walk," Skywarp said quietly.

Thundercracker grabbed his hand before he could get far.  "Do you want me to come with you?"

Skywarp sighed.  "No.  I just want it to stop."

With a pained look on his face, Thundercracker let Skywarp leave.  He didn't say or do anything for quite a while after he left.  Starscream was beginning to think his joints had locked up when he walked over to the couch, left askew by Starscream's anger, and sat down. 

"What did he mean by that?" Starscream asked.

"Just... the arguments," Thundercracker explained.  "You've got to understand that this isn't how he imagined you."

"Well that's not my problem, is it?"

Thundercracker's wings shot up again and he glared daggers at his leader.  "Starscream--"  He made a frustrated noise and stood, pacing around the room.  "Did Skyfire just let you walk all over him?"

Another dagger.  This one went deep.  "Skyfire was useful!"

"Bots shouldn't be defined by whether or not they're useful!"  Starscream had never seen Thundercracker this angry.  He didn't even know he was capable of yelling this loudly.  "Not once have you even stopped to notice how caring and affectionate he is!  That he would drop everything to help those he cared about!  He is a better seeker than you will ever be!"

"Seekers aren't meant to be caring!" Starscream screamed right back.  "They're meant to get the job done!"

"So, what, you would have dropped Skyfire just like that if he was suddenly unable to do his job?"

Starscream's words came out through clenched denta.  "That's.  Different."  He clenched his fists, his fingers digging into his palms.

"Partner.  Trinemate.  There's no difference."  Thundercracker was starting to reign his anger in again.  Though a fire still burned in his optics.  "I know that you're upset that you might be demoted.  But Skywarp is giving his all.  I know that.  Do you think I like being stuck in Class C?  I know I can do better than this."

"Then why stay?" Starscream asked for what felt like the millionth time.  "Why, in all these years, have you not requested a transfer?  And don't give me some bullshit excuse about love."

Thundercracker took a deep ventilation, closing his optics for a moment.  "Before I tell you, I want you to promise that you're going to apologize to Skywarp when he gets back.  And I want you to mean it."

Starscream rolled his optics.

"You're his fragging hero, Starscream!  Even after the way you've treated him he still thinks that you're the most amazing seeker ever.  You owe him at least an apology."

Starscream growled.  "Fine."

"You'd better mean it," Thundercracker threatened.  "I'll know if you're lying."

"I said I would, and I will.  Now why do you stay with him?"

"Can't you see it?" Thundercracker asked.  "Skywarp has so much potential.  You may be great, yes, but you don't have any more room for improvement.  Skywarp?  He could do anything."

"I've noticed that he lets up all the time, if that's what you mean."  Starscream crossed his arms, raising an optic ridge.

"He's nervous.  And your training style-- yelling, pushing too far-- it doesn't help.  He needs more guidance than that.  He needs someone to push him _just enough_.  Someone who rewards him when he makes even a little progress.  Perhaps you need to learn how to lead as much as Skywarp needs to learn how to be a seeker."

Starscream glared at the floor.

"You, yourself, said that you weren't sparked great," Thundercracker pointed out.  "None of us are.  At anything.  Did you really expect to pick up leadership all that quickly?"

"It's not entirely foreign to me," Starscream said.

"I know.  But partnerships take on a sort of joint leadership.  Neither party is truly a leader, nor a follower.  But trines are a little more straightforward.  You call the shots, we listen.  But a leader is only as strong as their trine.  You seem intent on making yourself weak."  Thundercracker took a few steps closer to Starscream.  He could just feel his field tickle his plating.  "I know I need to learn to.  To let Skywarp be more independent.  And to not coddle him so much.  Otherwise he's going to bounce between us not knowing what to think."

The door clicked with the sound of Skywarp's return.  He cautiously met both of his trinemates' optics.  His field had been let out far.  Its radius was large enough to engulf both of his trinemates, who both felt his trepidation.

"Skywarp," Starscream said, turning.  He took a few awkward steps closer to him, feeling Skywarp's mixed nervousness and excitement as though they were his own.  "I just wanted to say that...  I'm sorry.  For everything."

Skywarp's wings shot up and his optics glowed brightly.  His field tingled warmly around Starscream, filled with adoration.

"So, uh," Starscream cleared his throat, "is that offer for drinks still on?"

Thundercracker chuckled as he came to stand beside Starscream.  "Yes.  I think we could all use a drink."  He gently touched Starscream's arm as he passed.  "Are you still up for it, Skywarp?"

"Hell yeah!"

Thundercracker took Skywarp's hand with a smile.

"I still don't have to pay, right?" Starscream asked as he followed his trinemates.

Skywarp laughed and threw a brief but flirty look over his shoulder.  "Only if you're good."

 

"Wait, you mean _the_ Cyclonus?  The guy who can kill a rookie just by glaring them down?"  Skywarp's grin was made comically big from his intoxication.

"He's not so scary when he's bright orange," Starscream said, spilling some of his drink as he flourished.

Skywarp half-fell onto Starscream, holding his tank as he laughed.  "Oh my god, how did you even pull that _off_?"

Starscream shrugged like it had been easy.  "We broke into his apartment and put dye in his shower head.  The next time he went to wash-- bam!  Orange.  He was so mad."  He laughed heartily at the memory, taking another long swig.

"O M _G_ you have to pull some pranks with me!  Thundercracker won't help me do them."  Skywarp crossed his arms and pouted.

"Okay, I think you've had enough," Thundercracker said gently as he tried to pull his conjunx's glass away. 

Starscream tried to stop him, but he was as drunk as Skywarp, so he just kind of swatted at Thundercracker's hand.  "Aw, c'mon, Thunder.  Why you gotta be a party pooper?"

"Part-y poop-er!  Part-y poop-er!" Skywarp chanted. 

Starscream put in an order for another round of drinks from the screen by their table.  "We're not even close to being done."

"Yaaaay!"  Skywarp hugged Starscream, kissing his cheek. 

The whole evening had become a sort of blur, so Starscream couldn't really remember when Skywarp had come around the table to sit next to him.  They had just gotten talking, and drinking, and there he was.  Now incredibly close to him.  His lips just begging to be kissed.  And who was Starscream to refuse him?

Skywarp actually jumped just a little when he felt Starscream's mouth.  But a moment later he was pulling him closer and opening his mouth to welcome Starscream's glossa.  Warm and wet and... short.  Huh?

"Skywarp, he's drunk," Thundercracker said.

Starscream opened his optics to find a lack of Skywarp.  His processor couldn't seem to compute that he wasn't still there.  He found him, eventually.  But he was a few steps away, Thundercracker holding his arm.

Oh, right.  Him.  He had a conjunx.  Whoops.

"Uh, news flash, TC, so am I."  As if to prove it, Skywarp wobbled on his pedes. 

"You're just going to end up hurt," Thundercracker said as he wrapped an arm around his waist to keep him steady.

"You're just jealous that he wants to make out with _me_ and not _you_."

"Skywarp..."  But Skywarp was already teetering back to Starscream, laughing when he tripped getting back into the booth.  He ended up face first in Starscream's lap.

Starscream felt warm and fuzzy.  And for the first time in a while nothing hurt.  His processor swam in the best way possible and made everything seem like a good idea, and so it was.  Even Skywarp clumsily straddling him.  _Especially_ Skywarp straddling him.  An even better idea was to wrap his arms around his waist and pull his helm back down to lock mouths with him again.  He tasted just like the engex the service bot was placing on their table.  A little too sweet.  A lot too intoxicating.

Grabbing one of the glasses, Starscream lifted it to Skywarp's lips, still pursed post-kiss.  "Have some more," he encouraged, tilting the glass.  Only about half of it ended up in Skywarp's mouth.  The other half dripped down his chin.

"You should have some more, too," Skywarp slurred.  But instead of letting Starscream drink, he kissed him again.  The taste was even more prominent on his lips, now.

"We're in public," Thundercracker scolded them.

"Who cares?" Starscream said. 

"Yeah, who cares?"  Skywarp grabbed the drink from Starscream and downed it.  Slamming it back down on the table, he gave a loud, "Wooooo!"  He got a few "woos" back, from equally intoxicated patrons.

"No one's stopping you from joining us," Starscream said.  He reached around Skywarp for Thundercracker's hand, but gave up quickly when he couldn't find it.  It felt much better nestled against Skywarp's waist, anyways.

"Ooooh, this is my jam."  A very bass-y song came on over the speakers and Skywarp half-danced in Starscream's lap.  He closed his optics and bounced his wings in time to the music.  Well, as in time as a drunk Skywarp could.  Then they shot up.  "We should go dance!"  He was already scrambling to get off of Starscream.

Starscream didn't have too much of a choice as Skywarp dragged him out to the packed dance floor.  Skywarp pulled them right into the throng, where the floor was sticky.  He encouraged Starscream to come up right behind him and put his hands on his hips.

It wasn't what Starscream would call "dancing," but he wasn't about to complain.  Skywarp was grinding his aft up against Starscream's pelvic plating.  If he had been any drunker he might have considered fragging him right then and there.  He'd probably be able to get away with it, too.  The dim light broken only by the flash of a red light here and there made it hard to distinguish everything.  And the music was so loud that it would easily drown out any sounds he might drag out of his trinemate.

As exciting as that idea was, getting to break in their new berth sounded even better.  Starscream was almost glad that he didn't have his own place.  Almost.

Skywarp turned around, giggling when he stumbled a bit.  He nearly took the both of them over.  "You're so hot," he whispered.  Starscream could barely hear him over the music.

"I am going to frag you so hard when we get back," Starscream said right into his audial.  He let his hand drift down just above Skywarp's modesty panel.  Even amongst the hot mass of seekers on the dance floor, he could still feel the heat off of it.  Oh, Skywarp wanted him _bad_.

"You'd better."  Skywarp's hand trailed up one of Starscream's wings.

Starscream flipped his trinemate back around, resuming their not-really-dancing.  Skywarp reached up to lock his hands behind Starscream's helm, arching off of him just a bit.

Keeping his spike in was proving to be a harder task as time wore on.  Starscream had already dismissed three commands and he had almost missed the third.  "I can't wait any longer," he said when the fourth command came and was overridden.  He let his hand get all the way down over Skywarp's modesty panel.  "Let's get out of here."

Skywarp whipped around again and sloppily kissed him.  But in his drunken state sloppy felt good.  Everything felt good.  Even Skywarp's hand on his shoulder was getting him riled up at this point.

Starscream let Skywarp eagerly tug him along as they made a beeline for the exit.  Neither of them thought about or even considered Thundercracker for one moment.  Their processors were solely focused on each other and what they intended to do to each other behind closed doors. 

The walk back to their apartment wasn't far and shouldn't have taken them very long to do, but they kept stopping to make out.  Their frames couldn't bear to be apart for more than a few seconds.

"Skywarp!  Starscream!  Where are you going?"  Thundercracker ran up to them

"Oh, slag.  We left Thundercracker there."  Skywarp laughed like he'd just made the funniest joke ever.  He fell against Starscream, who was laughing too.

"Don't worry, Thunder.  I'm taking Skywarp home.  Like a gentlemech."  Wouldn't Thundercracker be so proud of him.  There was no better way to treat someone than to frag them until they screamed.

" _I'm_ taking him home," Thundercracker corrected.  "And you too, Starscream.  You've both had way too much."

Starscream waved his hand dismissively, accidentally hitting Skywarp in the face.  He apologized and kissed where he had hit him, and then kissed him on the mouth.  For good measure.

"Oh, Primus, it'd be so hot if you were there too, TC."  Skywarp licked his lips in a way that only someone as drunk as him could find sexy.  Which, thankfully, Starscream was.  "I've always wanted to frag two mechs at once."

"You two are going right to berth," Thundercracker said.  "And by that I mean you two are going to recharge."

"You can't make me," Skywarp slurred.

While he technically _couldn't_ , Thundercracker had much more coordination than either of them.  He easily broke them apart and wrapped an arm around each of their waists.  "C'mon.  Let's get you home."

"Threesome!" Skywarp announced to the streets of Vos.  He got a few whistles.

"We're all going to berth.  Neither of you can consent right now and I don't want either of you regretting this in the morning.  If you still want to frag each other then, I can't stop you."

"You'll change your mind," Skywarp said.  "Don't worry, Starscream.  I'll show you all of his weak spots."

Thundercracker just sighed as he walked them through the double doors of their building.

The ride up the elevator happened very differently from how Starscream had imagined it would happen.  Thundercracker was there, which wasn't _bad_ , but he wanted to make out with Skywarp.  And his other trinemate was making that very difficult by standing like a prude between them.

"Maybe you'd prefer I was kissing you," Starscream said, grabbing Thundercracker's chin.  Apparently he didn't have a very good hold, because when he went to press his lips to Thundercracker's, all he found was his cheek.

"I'm not kissing you while you're drunk, Starscream."

"More for me!" Skywarp said.

Thundercracker gave another growling sigh as he walked his trinemates out of the elevator and down the long hall to their apartment.  He punched in the pin easily.  It would have taken his drunk counterparts quite a few tries to get it right.  Maybe enough to get them locked out of their new place.  And he wouldn't have been surprised to find them fragging in the hallway.

As soon as the door slid aside Starscream grabbed Skywarp by his wrist and sprinted to their berthroom.  How neither of them stumbled or fell the entire way was a miracle.    

Starscream let himself fall back on the berth and pulled Skywarp down on top of him.  He didn't feel any pain when their frames knocked together.  He finally let his spike slip free and it brushed up against Skywarp's modesty panel.  But only for a moment.  Skywarp let it slide aside and lubricants dripped down the length of it.  But before Starscream could sink himself inside of his trinemate, Thundercracker pulled him off.

Letting Skywarp fall to the berth beside Starscream, Thundercracker said, "You two are going to go to sleep.  _Now_."

"But TCeeeee!"

"No buts!"  Thundercracker climbed into berth, acting as a wall between his trinemates.  "You're both drunk.  You're both not thinking straight.  You can't consent right now."

"I can consent to you," Skywarp said, waggling his optic ridges.

"No, you can't.  And I'm not about to take advantage of you."  He slapped Starscream's hand away when it settled on his hip.  " _Either_ of you."

"You're no fun, Thunder," Starscream said, crossing his arms and pouting.  "What the hell am I supposed to do with this?"  He gestured to his spike.

"Go take care of it.  I don't care.  But you're not fragging anyone tonight."

"Yeah, you're no fun..."  Skywarp yawned.  "... TC."  Skywarp's optics were already closing.

"Sleep on your side," Thundercracker said.  He rolled Skywarp over himself, because Skywarp had already passed out.  Then he curled up behind him.  Protecting him.

Grumbling, Starscream got up and went to the washracks.  Hurriedly pumping his spike, he grunted and thrust into his hand.  It didn't feel good.  Especially after his wet preview of Skywarp's valve.  His tame overload didn't even force him to close his optics, and he still felt horny afterwards, if not marginally better.  But it was enough to let his spike depressurize.

When he went back to their berthroom the air was full of Skywarp's deep ventilations.  He could still see slivers of yellow.  Thundercracker was still awake.  Still guarding his conjunx from wandering hands.

"I'm not gonna frag someone who's asleep," Starscream hissed as he climbed in beside Thundercracker.  He laid down with his back to the both of them.

"Good," was all Thundercracker had to say on the matter.

It took Starscream a good while to fall asleep.  The world was still spinning and he still had plenty of unused energy.  He tossed and turned and eventually found a way to lie that kept the world still behind his optics covers.  Unfortunately, that position was only comfortable when he was drunk.  He woke up with soreness in his arms.

Groaning, he sat up.  Still a little tipsy, but not as drunk as he had been.  Which sent regret pouring into his processor as he looked over at his trinemates, both fast asleep now.

Oh, slag.  He'd made out with Skywarp.  He had almost _fragged_ him.

Jealousy soon consumed that, though.  Seeing them there.  Tangled up in each other.  Starscream remembered being cradled by Skyfire that way.  His large frame a promise of protection.

He hadn't been drunk since that night.  Not since he had rejected the only mech to ever love him.  The only mech he had allowed himself to love.  Could he even say he loved him anymore?  He had been ready to throw himself at his trinemates.  So ready to just... _feel_ , again.

 _Don't do it_.  He'd been so strong this far.  He couldn't let one lonely night ruin everything.  But his frame didn't listen as he sat up.  His optics didn't listen as they went into his contacts, scrolling down the very short list of names.  His pedes didn't listen as they took him to the cramped washracks.  But by the time his aft felt cold tile, he had already surrendered.  The call was already being made. 

What time was it there?  He hadn't even thought of that.  Were they before or ahead Vos?  Frag it all, he hadn't been thinking about _anything_. 

He grew more anxious as each ring went on, unanswered.  Maybe he wouldn't answer him at all.  Starscream wouldn't blame him.  He _shouldn't_ answer him, really.  He had nothing left to give.

Then that familiar voice was in his audial.  "Hello?"


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to write these three just being happy together but they keep bickering and being afts to each other

"Skyfire!" Starscream said much too eagerly.  He toned down his enthusiasm when he said, "It's me.  Starscream."

"Starscream!  Are you alright?  Are you hurt?"

Oh god, this was a bad idea.  Hearing him only made his spark constrict that much more.  He felt like he couldn't ventilate.  He knew he wouldn't be able to speak without a catch in his voice.  So he just let the words come.

"No."  He swallowed.  "No, I'm fine."  _Physically_.

A sigh of relief swept through Starscream's audials.  "Thank Primus."

"Are you?  Okay?" 

"I'm fine, Starscream.  Better, now."

Oh, no.  All he was going to do was hurt Skyfire all over again.  This was the dumbest idea ever.  What was he even hoping to accomplish?  He was still halfway around the world.  He was still in a different trine.

"So how have you been?" Skyfire asked.

Starscream couldn't do this. 

"I'm okay," Starscream lied, but his voice wobbled with emotion.

"Yeah.  I've been okay, too."  He could tell from Skyfire's voice that he hadn't been.  And that he could tell that Starscream hadn't been either.  Neither of them were about to admit that, though.  They both knew that this was just a brief encounter.  That they had to go their separate ways again.  Oh, it wasn't fair.

"How's your new trine?" Starscream asked.  He could hear another voice in the background.

"They're decent enough.  Our missions aren't as fun, though.  The three of us all being transport seekers means we just make trips from one site to another.  But it's work.  How about you?  Racing off and having adventures yet?"

Starscream scoffed.  "Hardly.  They put me with Skywarp."

"You're kidding."

"Nope."

"But you're," Skyfire scoffed, "you're _way_ too good to be paired with him!"

"Tell that to Slipstream."  Starscream laughed a little.  It felt good.  Like no time had passed between them.  "At least you got to get rid of her."

"It's not like it would've mattered.  We don't really get to speak with our commanders anymore.  Unless you don't deliver the energon on time."

"You're better than just transport," Starscream said.  "You were more than that for _vorns_.  Why did they think demoting everyone was a good idea?"

"I don't know, Starscream.  But it is what I'm built for."

Silence stretched out between them.  Small talk could only take them so far.  Especially when they both had only one thing on their minds.

"I miss you," Starscream said, voice cracking.

"I miss you, too."  Skyfire's ventilations hitched a couple of times.  "So...  Are you willing to try?  Is that why you called?"

Guilt made Starscream's tank bubble.  He had been so close to fragging Skywarp that night, and who knew if it would happen again.  Or if he'd get with Thundercracker.  Or _a_ _nyone_.  No matter how much he loved Skyfire, he couldn't trust himself.  He didn't _want_ to have to hold back.  He just wanted Skyfire to be here.  Always.

"Things have started to settle down up here.  I might be able to get a couple of days off.  I could--"

"Skyfire."  God, he hated cutting him off.  Always to reject him.  "I can't.  You know I can't."

"You haven't even tried," Skyfire said, a little bit of anger seeping into his voice.  But he never let it get farther than that.  Something Starscream could stand to learn from him.  "I know it won't be easy, but...  You're just going to give up on us?  Give up on _me_?"

Starscream covered his face and let his helm fall between his knees.  His wings came down around him, trying to act as a shield.  But he was the enemy.  The pain was already in his chest.

"I love you, Starscream."

Skyfire wasn't going to make this easy.  He'd almost said "okay" countless times.  The word sat on his glossa, ready to agree.  He had to leave it there, weighing it down.  He almost felt it slip off when he finally said the words that he needed to.

"It won't work, Skyfire.  No matter how much you love me."

"Then why did you call?"  Starscream could hear Skyfire's mending spark break again.  He could hear the hurt and confusion.  He could practically see his face.  Could almost see the pain darkening his optics, as blue as the sky. 

"Because I'm selfish.  Because I'm lonely.  Because I miss you."

"You don't have to miss me."

"We're both going to get busy.  We're going to forget and we're going to not have time.  I don't want to watch us crash and burn."  He was going to watch it, though.  He shouldn't have called.  He should have left him pristine in his memories.

For a long while they just listened to each other's background noise.  Over muffled chatter Starscream could hear Skyfire's shaky ventilations.  And if he closed his optics, he could almost pretend that he was there with him, sleeping.  If only they were steady.  If only he couldn't feel the hard tile.  If only it were _true_.

Then there was a click, and he was gone.  No good-byes.  No "I love you."  Nothing.  Crash and burn.

But it was better that way.  Now he could go on knowing that Skyfire hated him.  It would be harder to call him.  So he wouldn't.  They would go their separate ways, living their separate lives, remembering each other only sparingly.

Starscream was glad he was in the washracks.  Because when the nausea hit, it hit fast.  He barely had enough time to get on all fours above the drain when he purged.  The engex burned far more fiercely coming up than it had going down.  Worsened by the fact that he was of relatively sound processor at that point. 

Every drink came back up with regret slamming his processor.  There was no one to stroke his back this time.  No one to tell him that he would be alright.  No one to help him clean up when his shaky and clammy frame refused to work for him. 

His shivering frame didn't have the energy to do anything.  So on the cold floor, he curled up.  He knew that he wasn't awake but he wasn't sure that he slept, either.  Time just sort of... passed.  Slowly.  The only indication that anything had changed was when Thundercracker found him, stooping down to lay concerned, and warm, hands on his frame.

"Starscream, what are you doing here?"  He didn't wait for an answer.  He just helped Starscream to pedes that he was sure weren't going to work, but somehow got him to the couch. 

He shook and tried to press himself deeper into the couch.  Tried to find some heat.  It was only once Thundercracker draped a heating cover over his frame that he found some relief.

After what could have been any amount of time, Thundercracker handed him an energon ration.  The blue was so like what he had watched go down the drain that his tanks heaved again, but nothing came.

"Take little sips," Thundercracker soothed.  "You have to get something in you."

Starscream shook his helm like a fussy sparkling.  He never wanted to drink anything ever again.

"You won't feel better until you do."  Only a hint of forcefulness pricked at Thundercracker's words.  Just enough to let you know that his wasn't optional.  He stroked one of Starscream's wings.  "Just try a little."

Skywarp groaned from their berthroom.  "Thundercracker?"  Then he made a pained sound and groaned more loudly.

"Try," Thundercracker murmured before getting up to deal with Skywarp.

If Starscream really strained his audials, he could just hear his trinemates talking.  Thundercracker had a bit of a giggle in his voice when he spoke.

"Do you still want to frag Starscream?" Thundercracker gently asked his trinemate.

"I don't want to do anything ever," came Skywarp's muffled response.

"I'll get you something for your processor, okay?"

"You're the best, TC."

He really was.

When Starscream saw his trinemate stride back to their stores, he tried his vocalizer.  It clicked and reset a few times before he managed to speak.  By then Thundercracker had already mixed Skywarp's hangover cure.

"Thundercracker."  Starscream was so quiet that he was sure that he wouldn't hear him.  But his trinemate broke from his path to their berthroom and came to him.  Once he'd kneeled down, Starscream said, "Thank you."

Thundercracker smiled.  "You're welcome, Starscream.  And if this happens again, you can wake me."  He leaned in, then froze and pulled back.  "Sorry.  Force of habit."

Starscream grabbed his wrist as he tried to stand up.  "Please."

Expression softening, Thundercracker leaned in again.  This time, he didn't hesitate to leave a kiss on Starscream's forehelm.  It was brief, but incredibly comforting.

"Let me know if you need anything."  Thundercracker gave Starscream's hand a gentle squeeze, then returned to Skywarp.

Starscream tried a sip of the energon while Thundercracker comforted Skywarp.  He couldn't make out any words anymore, just the feeling behind them.  Which helped as he dared to take another sip.  And then another.  This energon was so smooth he could hardly feel it as it went down.  Which made it easy to swallow.  He'd only finished about half when his tank started to protest, but it didn't seem eager to purge.  He put the rest of the ration on the table and then pulled his arm back under the blanket to try and keep as much heat in as possible.  Though he still wished he could have someone else's frame there to help warm him.

He tried not to think about Skyfire.  All it did was make him want to purge again.  Like his frame was rejecting life.  He should have left him alone.  He should have stayed in berth.  He still wouldn't have Skyfire, still wouldn't have his closure, but at least he would be remembered fondly.  Now he would be the snivelling wretch on the washracks floor. 

"Hey."

Starscream flinched when Thundercracker touched his hand again.  He had let his optics go so out of focus that it took a few seconds for them to find his trinemate's face.

"Sorry."  Thundercracker's thumb made circles on the back of Starscream's hand.  "Do you think you could make it to the berth?  I bet you'll be much more comfortable there."

The couch would end about mid-calf if Starscream stretched out.  And it was as hard and uncomfortable as it had looked.  He tried to muster up some more anger for being given what was clearly the wrong apartment but he just didn't have it in him anymore.

"You can sleep the whole day away," Thundercracker said. 

"Okay."

The air felt like ice on his leg as he swung it out and planted a pede on the floor.  With Thundercracker's help, he sat up and wrapped the cover around his shoulders and over fallen wings.  Unsteadily, he stood.  He took slow steps to the berthroom, and his trinemate was there to catch him whenever he faltered.  It was a long, cold, aching walk, but the plush berth beneath his frame was well worth it.

Skywarp was there, of course.  He helped Starscream get under the thick blanket.  "You're freezing," he said when he happened to touch his arm.  His pulled his hand away but kept it nearby, uncertainty in his red optics.

It wasn't that Starscream didn't _want_ this.  Thundercracker was right when he said that Skywarp was a caring bot.  _Infuriating_ , at times, but he was kind at his core.  And he wasn't hard on the optics, either.  But it felt like cheating.  After millions of years with one mech you start to think that this is it.  The bot you'd spend the rest of your life with.  It just hadn't sunk in that it was over.

With Skywarp right there, he knew he was going to rebound.  But right then he wanted someone to care about him.  Someone to hold him and kiss him and take care of him after he drank way too much.

Starscream closed the distance between their hands.  Skywarp's felt like it was on fire compared to his.  He snuggled closer.  It didn't feel like there was enough heat in the world to warm him.

Skywarp was eager to cuddle close to Starscream.  His free arm wrapped around Starscream's waist and he intertwined their legs, trying to get as close to him as possible.

"Maybe we should listen to Thundercracker next time," Skywarp said with a laugh.

Starscream might have given a half-sparked chuckle, too, but it just hit him then how tired he was.  Not even the morning light spreading through the room could keep his optics open.

That was how they spent their day.  Starscream and Skywarp took random naps that sometimes coincided and sometimes didn't.  They occasionally sat up to refuel and, when they both happened to be awake, to talk, but mostly they slept.  Starscream thought he would have trouble sleeping the next night but when it came he was just as tired.  And it helped to have Skywarp spooning him, his warm ventilations tickling the back of his neck.  It occurred to him then that he hadn't slept well since Skyfire had done the same.

Long before dawn was even considering breaking, Skywarp slipped out of berth.  Starscream's half-asleep processor only minimally noticed his absence at that time.  But when he rolled towards the middle, expecting to find Skywarp's front there to catch him, he woke himself up.  He felt around the berth for a moment, but he was, indeed, gone.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been looking forward to writing this chapter from the start. I hope you like reading it as much as I loved writing it!

Starscream wasn't too concerned at first.  They had spent nearly the entire day in berth, maybe Skywarp just needed to stretch his legs.  Starscream certainly needed to, but only after a few more cycles...  It was the next time that he awoke, only to find Skywarp still gone, that he started to worry.

Dawn was testing the waters by then.  A pale orange line glowed along the horizon where the sun would eventually rise.  Only after the sunrise would Starscream even think about getting up on a normal day.  As would Skywarp, after enough pestering, that it.  He wasn't one to give up any sleep.

Careful not to disturb Thundercracker, Starscream slipped out of berth.  His trinemate didn't even stir.  He wished he could be as heavy of a sleeper.  With all the kicking Skywarp did in recharge, it was probably a learned skill.

Though the engex had long since left his system, Starscream was still wobbly on his pedes.  Low fuel levels, his HUD informed him.  Of course.  He'd barely had more than a ration yesterday.

Worry pricked at Starscream's spark when he found the lounge area empty of anyone.  He almost hoped to find him passed out on the washracks floor.  But he wasn't there either.  Unless Skywarp had found a hidden room, he had left the apartment.  Without a note, and without telling either of his trinemates where he was going.

Okay, there was no need to panic yet.  He could have gone down to the mess hall.  He grew even more hopeful for that thought when he went to get some energon, only to find their stores depleted.  Now he had to go there regardless.  With any luck, he'd get down there to find a half-online Skywarp nursing the most bland energon Starscream had ever tasted.  He'd get his own, and then the both of them would be back before Thundercracker had even known they were gone.

For the first time in his life Starscream wished they had still be living in the dorms.  The walk to the mess hall was way longer now.  He could have risked flying, but that would only burn his energon faster.  That, and the idea of changing shape made his whole frame ache.

They should have stocked up on more rations.  Skywarp had burned through them all in an attempt to cure his hangover.  Thundercracker would have gotten more, but he didn't want to leave them alone. 

But he made it, dragging his pedes and tank sputtering.  He had just enough fumes to get his morning ration and plop his aft down at a table.

He drank slowly, knowing his tank was still sensitive after his purge and from being nearly emptied.  None of it ended up sitting in his tank anyways.  It was pulled straight into his thirsty veins.  He'd have to buy some more before he went to find--

\--Skywarp!  Right.  He had come here for a reason.  It didn't take him long to scan the room.  Only a couple other seekers were there.  Because everyone else valued their sleep.  None of them were Skywarp.

Movement at the door caught his optic and he tiredly lifted his gaze.  It wasn't Skywarp-- it was far worse.  A grinning Slipstream, walking right up to him.  Her smile was so fake.  It didn't reach her optics.

"Ah, Starscream.  Just the mech I wanted to see.  I'm surprised you're up so early."  She sat down across from him, much to Starscream's annoyance.  What did she want now?

"I'm surprised to see you _here_."  He didn't bother to hide his irritation.  It was far too early to bend to her expectations.

"I like to come through every now and then," she said with a shrug.  "It's hard to tell how my seekers are really faring when I'm stuck at a desk all day."

_Or maybe you're just ignoring your work,_ Starscream thought.  There was still tons of work to be done with the reorganization.  And given the fact that they had been given the wrong apartment, it was clear that they had next to nothing handled on that front.  Plenty of seekers had been misplaced and trines were still being put together.

"No Skywarp or Thundercracker?"  A wicked, but much more genuine, smile formed on her face.  "Trouble in paradise?"

Like what they had was paradise.  "I just couldn't sleep," he lied.  "And our training isn't until the afternoon.  They have no need to be up yet."

"Maybe you _should_ get them up."  She glanced up to check something on her HUD.  "There are still some spots open this morning.  I think you would benefit from scheduling a few more sessions.  Your trine needs to be prepared for your assessment next week."

Starscream nearly spewed.  He held a hand over his mouth as he forcefully swallowed.  The energon hurt going down.  Like he had tried to swallow a raw crystal.

"Sorry, did I not send you your notice?"  She tutted to herself, but her optics showed that she wasn't sorry at all.  She returned her attention to her HUD, tapping the side of her helm as she sorted through it.  As her optics came back into focus, Starscream heard the ping of a new message.

He didn't bother checking it.  "I thought that wouldn't be for months!"  It _shouldn't_ be.  He'd barely had enough time to feel his trinemates out.  Not literally, of course.  Well, he'd done some of that, too, but he couldn't think about that right now.  Too complicated.

Slipstream shrugged, as uncaring as ever.  "New policies."

_New policies_ his aft!  They were setting them all up for failure! 

"I'm sure _The Great Starscream_ will have no trouble whipping his trine into shape.  You did it with Skyfire, after all."  Oh, she was enjoying this far too much.  Standing, Slipstream gave him a nod.  "I'll see you, then."

Starscream didn't want to take her advice, but once she was gone he brought up the training schedule.  He booked a few extra sessions for the coming week, and extended their afternoon slot for good measure.  Even with the extra time, he wasn't confident that Skywarp would be assessment ready.  Not that he thought he would _ever_ be assessment ready.  Not as long as he held back.

Which reminded him.  _Skywarp_.  Where had that idiot gotten to if he wasn't here?

Other matters were more pressing presently.  Like energon.  He wasn't in the red zone anymore, but this one ration wasn't going to cut it.  He could bet that Skywarp, wherever he was, needed it, too.  If they had just stayed in berth they could have persuaded Thundercracker to go out and get some.  He would have gotten them the good stuff.  Not the crap from the vending machine that Starscream was forced to get.  It beat the Academy rations, though.

A seeker gave him a strange look as he guzzled down a couple of doses while still in front of the machine.  He hardly noticed him, though.  His optics rolled back into his helm as he chugged down the energon.  Finally feeling energy return to his limbs.  It got rid of the annoying warning in the corner of his HUD as well.

Starscream's tank bubbled just a little bit.  It was annoyed to be nearly emptied and then filled so hastily, but he managed to keep it down.  He bought enough rations to fill his subspace, hoping it would be enough for his trinemate.

He had one last place to check on campus where Skywarp might have gone.  After a day in berth with a wicked hangover, Starscream wouldn't have begrudged him hours of sitting in an oil bath. 

When he got there, though, all he found was oil.  Considering that the lights hadn't been on when he got there, and since they took a while to come to their full brightness, it was unlikely that anyone had been there since the day before.

"Slag..."

Starscream considered just climbing into a bath and forgetting all about this.  Let the warm oil seep into every seam as he all but slept there.  It was a hard urge to resist.

Maybe Skywarp just did this.  Just every now and then went off on his own to do something.  But it was the cold season.  The thought of watching Thundercracker worry was worse than going to the trouble of looking for him.  Plus he was probably in need of energon.  He didn't even want to imagine the look on Thundercracker's face if Skywarp came back injured.  Or worse.

What did Skywarp even like to do?  In all the time he'd known him, he'd been attached to Thundercracker at the hip.  He couldn't remember a time where they'd been separated for this long.  It simply wasn't like him.

He couldn't still be drunk.  Had he gone to get drunk again?  That seemed far too stupid of an idea, even for Skywarp.  The ache had only just left his processor. 

A part of Starscream wished he had paid more attention for his trinemate.  If he had known what he liked he might have some idea of where to find him.  Even still, it seemed like all he liked was his conjunx.

Starscream wanted to just leave it be.  Go back to berth and be just as shocked as Thundercracker when he woke up.  If only he wasn't their trine's leader.  Skywarp was his responsibility.  To train, and to keep safe.  That was why he had to find him.  Not for any other reason.  Certainly not to feel his hands on him again. 

He was at a loss for where to start.  He doubted he'd find Skywarp at the training fields, but it was as good of a place as any to start.  He exited the main building and took to the sky.

He shivered in his alt mode, pushing his engines hard to warm himself up more quickly. 

Why was Skywarp so stupid?  Flying at night during the cold season had taken many a seeker before him.  Starscream would be fine, he at least had the weak rays of sunlight.  But if Skywarp had been out here since he'd left, he'd be freezing.  His frame wouldn't be as warm as it had been yesterday.  Especially without a full tank of energon to regulate his temperature.

Though he had had only the smallest of hope of finding him on one of the fields, he still felt a knot of disappointment when they came up empty.  Was he even on campus anymore?

Starscream tried his trinemate's comm.  ::Skywarp, where are you?::

He received no answer.  Which meant he was either ignoring him or he had turned his comm off.  Or he was dead.

His tank churned some more.  Energon was just not his friend.  But he had to keep it down.  Had to keep looking.

Starscream's spark nearly shot up and out of his throat when his comm pinged with a new message.  It fell back down, right into his roiling tank, when he heard Thundercracker's voice come through.

::Starscream?  Where are you?  Where's Skywarp?  He's not answering his comm.::  There was confusion in his voice, bordering on panic.  Sleepiness, too.

::Skywarp's with me,:: Starscream lied.  ::He wanted to train.  So we're training.  His comm's off so he can focus.::

What a pathetic lie.

::Is he okay?::  Thundercracker didn't sound like he actually believed him, but he would take a lie that calmed his spark before the truth that Starscream just didn't know.  ::Are _you_ okay?  I figured you'd both be in berth until I dragged you out.::

::I'm a little tired,:: Starscream admitted.  ::Skywarp's fine.::  _Please let that be the truth._

There was a smile in Thundercracker's voice.  ::I told you he was dedicated.  He wants to be a great seeker, just like you.::

::I know.::  Thundercracker was distracting him.  He had to keep his optics open for anything vaguely Skywarp-shaped.  ::I'll comm you when we're coming home.::

Reopening his comm to Skywarp, he screeched, ::If you're not dead I swear I'll smack you halfway to it!::

Still no reply.  Ignoring him was out; he would have responded to that.  Please, Primus, let it just be off.  Let him be warm in a bar drinking until he passed out on the grungy floor.  Or visiting some friend.  Did he have friends?  Just... anywhere but out in this wasteland.

Starscream had gone so far that he couldn't see Vos anymore.  He could hardly see anything.  Beyond rust, that is.  He could feel the particles settling in his filters.  He wouldn't feel clean for weeks after this.

If Skywarp was alive he owed him a proper cleaning.  A full detailing.  Wash and wax.  And finally he'd have someone to give his wings a good preening.

By now Starscream was far enough from the city to use his energon detectors.  The city showed up as a huge cluster on his map, and there were a few veins that could only be un-mined energon.  They were too small to warrant digging them up yet.  He hoped he'd never see the day where Cybertron was desperate enough for those deposits.

Beyond that, there were three moving energon signals.  One uncomfortably close by.  It was a grounder, given its altitude and speed.  Starscream made sure to give them a wide berth.  There was no reason for any Cybertronian to be out here, grounder or otherwise, but even less so for someone stuck on the ground.  He didn't want to find out why they were there.

The second life sign was a turbofox, which thankfully didn't seem the least bit interested in him.  Though he was safe in the air, he might have to land.  And he didn't want to be anywhere near the beast when he did.  He wasn't exactly built for strength.

The third was definitely in the air, which made it very promising.  It also meant that if it _was_ Skywarp, he was still very much alive. 

His sensors were glitching, probably from all the rust, because the signal suddenly moved from the air to the ground.  Then it sat there, unmoving, for a worryingly long time.  After the speed it had been showing, they must have crashed.  Skywarp or not, this was a seeker in need of help.

Starscream was glad to push his engines again.  There was more sun now but it was still cold.  He had to readjust his course countless times because the signal kept jumping around randomly.  He might have to get a full medical cleaning to fix this.

The signal ascended into the air once more.  Not that he could trust this reading anymore.  They might not have even crashed at this point, given how glitchy his readout was.

He shut it off with a growl.  He was close enough to spot them in the air.  Just a little ways ahead, he saw the glint of plating in the bright sunlight.  They were speeding along and seemed perfectly fine, until they dropped out of sight.  Starscream pushed harder.  This time they had _definitely_ crashed.

Like it hadn't even affected them, they ascended once more, still pushing themselves to their limit, if the whine of their engine said anything. 

Starscream got close enough to see that they were definitely a black jet.  The hope that it was Skywarp filled him with warmth and gave his engines just a little more output.  He was getting close enough to call for him when he disappeared out of sight.  Like he'd never been there to begin with. 

Pulling up suddenly, Starscream slowed and then hovered.  Was the rust making him hallucinate?

Then he heard the sickening crunch of metal, and someone yelling, "Slag!"

Starscream followed the noise, landing behind an outcropping.  He transformed and peered around it.  Wings happily came up when he saw that this was definitely Skywarp.  They fell back down when he saw how battered his trinemate looked.  Nothing looked life-threatening , which was a relief, but he was leaking from a few places.  His plating was so scraped in places that it was more grey than black.

He really should have stopped him then.  Forced him home.  But his curiosity was stronger, and he had to know what exactly he had just witnessed.  He watched and waited.

Skywarp seemed to be steeling himself for something.  He didn't look unlike Starscream before a meeting with Slipstream.  He stood there long enough for Starscream to start shivering.  He was beginning to think Skywarp had frozen in place when he suddenly transformed and shot up in the air.

Starscream had never seen him fly this fast!  He actually felt a little... _proud_.  Also a little angry.  No, a _lot_ angry.  Where the hell had this Skywarp been?  He kept his mouth shut, though.  As much as he wanted to berate him for keeping this from him, he wanted to know how he did when he thought no one was watching.

Only... where had he gone?

Starscream stepped away from the outcropping, neck turned at a painful angle as he searched the sky.  Sure, he was flying fast, but not _that_ fast.  Not even Starscream could have gotten out of sight by now.

When he heard another crash, one that had his wings pulling in protectively to his frame, he ran.  It had been far off, a distant noise, but he could see Skywarp now, lying on the ground.  In a mess of limbs.  Far too still.  But all Starscream could think about was how he had managed to get all the way over there.

Skywarp had managed to pull himself into a sitting position by the time Starscream got near enough to call his name.  Just as he was opening his mouth, Skywarp slammed his fist into the ground.  Repeatedly.  Energon dripped from his knuckles and he showed no sign of stopping.

"Skywarp!"

He still didn't stop.  He hadn't heard him.

Starscream skidded to a stop beside his trinemate, grabbing his wrist before he could punch his fist down again.  But as soon as he went to scold him the hand wasn't there.  Or any part of Skywarp.  He was gone, and the air prickled with the threat of lightning.  Except the sky was clear.  Not even one cloud disturbed the blue.

Starscream's processor sat uselessly in his helm.  He felt like he couldn't move his frame until he heard Skywarp crash again, this time much closer.  He heard his trinemate's cries of pain.

"Skywarp!"  Running over, he stooped down beside him, hands hovering.  He'd opened fresh wounds and exacerbated others.  Wounds that were looking more life threatening by the second.  "Are you alright?"  He felt stupid to ask that.  Look at him!  Of course he wasn't!  But he didn't know what else to say.

Skywarp didn't say anything, but his chattering denta lead Starscream to at least one solvable issue.  He pulled him in close, nearly recoiling from his freezing frame.  Not to mention that he was getting dirt and energon all over him.

"What was that?  What happened?"  Starscream had to talk over his engine.  He was running it on high, trying to combat the cold.

Despite his battered and freezing frame, Skywarp was smiling.  "I wanted t-to get better.  T-t-to impress you."

"Never mind all that, what happened?" Starscream repeated.  "It was like you disappeared."

The smile was gone.  Along with Skywarp.  Again.  He barely got out of Starscream's reach this time.  His optics flickered as he tried to get his bearings.

Starscream crawled back over to him, getting an energon ration from his subspace.  Dragging Skywarp's torso onto his lap, he ordered, "Drink."  He put the glass up to Skywarp's lips and, thankfully, he obeyed.

After it had been drained, and after his optics had regained their regular brightness, Skywarp curled up against Starscream, hiding his faceplate.  In a quiet voice, he said, "Please don't turn me in."

"Turn you in...?"

Skywarp was shaking again, and it wasn't just from the cold.

Starscream just sat there feeling like he was missing something important.  He felt the faintest of tingles of the threat of lightning and realized that it wasn't the air that was charged up, it was Skywarp.  And if his limited understanding of what was happening told him anything, it was that this was not a good sign.

He stroked raw wings, hoping that the movement still brought his trinemate some comfort.  But the prickle didn't go away.  It just got worse when Skywarp repeated, his voice even more fearful than before, "Please don't turn me in." 

He realized what he meant then.  Why Skywarp never showed Starscream his full potential.  Why he was out here.  Why he seemed to have vanished in the sky.  Why his frame seemed fuzzy with the threat of another dislocation.

"You're an outlier."

Skywarp only seemed to shake more when Starscream said that.  He was stuck on a loop, saying, "Please don't turn me in," over and over.

"I'm not going to turn you in."  Starscream hugged him closer and stroked any part of him that didn't look too badly damaged. 

It still felt like lightning was going to rain down on them at any moment.  Nothing he tried seemed to help him.  He had to ground him somehow or... or...

Starscream knew it was a stupid idea but it was the only idea he had at that point.  He didn't even give it a second thought before his lips were on Skywarp's.  They were like ice and too shocked to do anything but accept it, but they stayed put, along with the rest of his frame.  It was so different from that time at the bar.  His mind was very much present and probably would have enjoyed the act far more if he weren't so cold.

When he pulled away, he saw that Skywarp's face had turned as red as his optics.  At least his blush was bringing some warmth to his frame.

The longer he stared, the more Starscream mirrored his trinemate.  He was so glad for the heat, but the realization as to what he had just done was washing over him.  Not quite regret, not quite joy.  He couldn't tell what he was feeling, and each thought slipped away before he could analyze it.

"Are you drunk?" Skywarp asked quietly.

"No."  No excuses here.  "Are you?"

"No."

"Good."

"Yeah."

And then Skywarp was kissing him again, and Starscream couldn't find a reason to stop him.  His lips were warm by now and were soft against Starscream's.  Far less sloppy than their first kiss, and far more pleasurable. 

He was just helping his trinemate warm up.  That was what he told himself as he pulled him in even closer.  He loosened his grip when Skywarp flinched, a hand going to a deep scrape on his side.

"I have to get you to a medic," Starscream said, starting to disentangle himself.  He'd already selfishly kept Skywarp out here for too long.

"No!  Please."  Skywarp grabbed at his hands.  "Can't we just... stay a little longer?"  His denta chattered, his whole frame shivering. 

"Thundercracker will kill me if I keep you out here for even a second more."  On his HUD, he called for a medic, waiting to see that his request had been received before he turned his attention back on his trinemate.  The disappointment on his face brought on some of his own.  He just wanted to keep kissing him.  "We need to move.  Keep the energon flowing.  Can you walk?"

"I don't know."  Skywarp cuddled closer to Starscream, seeking warmth.  But the wind had taken whatever he had to spare.

He wanted to stay like this.  Moving his trinemate was the last thing he wanted to do right now, and the most important thing he needed to do right now.  "We have to try."  Primus, it was like the sun wasn't even there.  He barely felt it on his plating.  "This is what it means to be a seeker."  He got to his pedes, trying not to let on how cold he was.  Offering Skywarp his hand, he said, "Perseverance."

Skywarp took his hand and all but pulled Starscream over while getting up.  He winced as he tried to put weight on one pede.  A crack ran up the middle of his heel.

Starscream put Skywarp's arm around his shoulder and snaked his own around his trinemate's waist.  After their first step, or hop, in Skywarp's case, his other arm came up to clutch at Starscream's chest.

"I'm sorry," Skywarp whispered.

"Just don't run off again," Starscream said.  "Especially in the cold season."  He didn't want to talk too much, in case he said something he didn't mean.  Or worse, something he _did_ mean.

"No, I, about... um...  Sorry... for not telling you.  About the teleporting.  I mean, I wanted to.  I did.  Right from the start.  Because I know it holds me back and I can't do what you do, but Thundercracker stopped me because he thought I was just doing it because of my cru... because you were... you."

Starscream wasn't sure he got even half of those words.

"I just never know how bots will react.  Or who they might tell.  I don't want to hold you back, Starscream.  You're so amazing and deserve so much better than what I can give, but... I can't stop it.  Every time I start pushing myself I teleport and--"

Starscream kissed him before he used up all the words in the universe.

"I'll have to adjust your training regime," Starscream said.  "But at least I have something to work with now."

The corners of Skywarp's optics crinkled as they shone a brilliant red.  He nuzzled his helm into Starscream's neck.

"We'll have to train out here, for now.  In case someone sees you.  At least until it warms up enough to use the tracks before dawn.  And I expect you to give me your all from now on."  Starscream hugged Skywarp a little tighter.  "We'll work through this."


End file.
